Contact with abusive father

[nicelunch25]

I left ex h because of his persistent abuse. (Mostly emotional/verbal/financial but some physical). I subsequently spoke to his other ex and mother of his daughter and he was the same with her. She also describes him as abusive.

The problem I have is with contact for my little boy. When we lived together at least I was there to protect him, now there is nothing I can do and I'll only know if he witnesses something after the damage has been done.

Is contact always encouraged in these situations? Is there research into no father v an abusive father - which is best for a child? My ex watched his mother being abused and I don't want my son turning out the same. It's ultimately my decision as ex won't go to court as he doesn't want to risk his job.

The advice on here is always to leave an abusive partner and not let the kids witness abuse but what about after when the abusive man gets into another relationship - surely the risk of the kids witnessing that is similar?

Bump

Yeh they do get contact. I know people whose abusive exes get contact. I think the way they see it is if your no longer in a relationship then the child is no longer witnessing the abuse if he wasnt abusive to the child.

Offer supervised contact and hope they can't be bothered to jump through the hoops required of them

If he goes to court, he will be awarded contact. Their right to a relationship comes above anything. Unless you have reams of concrete proof of abuse to the child, they won't be interested in your allegations.