How to make friends in London???

[AnaViaSalamanca]

Please be gentle. I am trying to make some new friends in London, been living here for ages but not English. Most friends have moved away/have children/are just too busy/drifted away. I am finding it extremely difficult to form new friendships though. Everyone seems to be busy with their lives and already existing friends. I have tried meet-up groups and frankly the few that I went to were either full of creepy people or very professionally oriented.

I am in my mid-30s no children, busy job working in a male dominated environment, in a relationship with a busy partner who travels a lot. I am into quiet pursuits like yoga, reading, cooking etc.

Any ideas, groups, etc would be appreciated!

Book club? Friends at yoga?

It's the same in many places, when you hit 30 something mysterious happen. Your former friends (those who are left) start to concentrate on their families and it's difficult to find time to make new ones. If you're planning to start a family, the best bet might be to go ahead and then make mum friends. (If you're mid 30's already that would be about now.) If you're not planning to have children on your own, you best bet might be to try to befriend neighbours and/or to join an association focusing on some interest of yours (whatever that might be). They say that it's easier to make friends with people who share your interests, than with those who don't. One person I know met their best friends through a choir, the atmosphere there is supportive of making friends. You might contemplate taking up a new interest if you're current ones are too ... solitary.

..of your own... sorry...

Try using Meet Up to find local groups to join

If you like yoga what about trying yoga weekend workshops? You'll be with the same people for a couple of days so may hit it off with someone.

Or go to a yoga retreat abroad. I went to one in the med on two occasions. Both times half the group were from London and one person lived 3 Streets away from me

I have an ex-colleague who made quite a few friends via a meet up jogging group.

Definitely use meetup.com - it’s social not dating and is really good!

When I moved into London, I felt a bit like this so started volunteering with my local Brownie unit, 14 years on, my Guiding friends are some of my best friends.

ime volunteering is a good way to meet like minded people. Working together builds a bond.

When I lived in London I joined thinkingbob.co.uk and really enjoyed it! Also went to a few things off of meetup but didn't like how unorganised it was compared to thinking bob

I would second yoga retreats — they really bond you with people.

I’ve made most of my friends through work. I make a real effort to get to know people, and stay I touch when they leave. Same with activités (yoga, languages, classes). It feels so, so awkward, but a little kindness and courage can pay off hugely in the long term. Sending you good wishes — it’s a struggle!

Thanks all. I should probably give meetup a second try. The one I went to was full of single men keen on dating so left a bad impression. Probably should find a female group.

Yoga retreats sounds great though! Any references for the good ones by the way? I can of course google but wanted to see if anything comes with recommendation.

What about activities going on nearby where you live?

Your interests sound rather like mine! I am of a similar age to you and also live in London - making and keeping friends here can be hard. Please feel free to PM me if you fancy (not sure if that’s the ‘done thing’ to say on such a thread but - why not!)

If you like running, check out Goodgym. My sis who is early 30s and single LOVES her group, the feeling of helping people, keeping fit and the social side.

Residents' Association? Ours is great and not all old fogeys.
Nextdoor which I think is great for local networking.

Definitely find a book group .. or more than one! When I lived in London I was a member of groups at two local libraries. Or Waterstones in Piccadilly has one too I think. Once you've been to a few meetings you'll probably go for a drink or a coffee afterwards with people you like.

I know you're young and the WI wouldn't be your first thought but it varies loads depending on the area .. the group in Stoke Newington is very young and trendy .. a friend used to be a member. It might be worth investigating.

Also there are Knit and Natter groups .. I know there's a good one in Islington and there used to be one at a lovely wool shop near Maida Vale/St Johns Wood if that appeals.

Language classes are also good for making friends .. I went to the French Institute in Kensington; it was great.

London is not the easiest place as people don't spontaneously chat to you as they do up north in my experience, so you need to find a shared interest/activity and friendships come from there.

Good luck

Wherever you are from originally, there is probably a social group/support network in London of your fellow countrymen. (Google it.) If you've been here a while, you might be able to help newcomers settle in or overcome language barriers and make friends in the process. When I lived abroad, I found it easy to make friends with other expat Brits in those countries.