How do I get my ducks in a row?

[greatandpowerfulozma]

Hi, I need some advice about what information I need to get together before I confront my DH.
I won’t go into too much detail but since Christmas he’s been using Cocaine and mdma regularly. He’s had an emotional affair with his best friends wife and possibly slept with someone else as well.
We have a 9 month old DD. It’s like he went off the rails when she was born. I’m hurt, I’m devastated but I want to end this in as strong a position as possible.
The thing I need advice on is what information do I need to get together before I confront him? I want to have as much as possible before he has chance to hide it all. I’ve photographed some bank statements he had lying around which show his income (he’s self employed so pays himself a minimum then gets dividends). What else should I do? Should I consult a solicitor?? Any advice from someone who’s been through this is appreciated!!

Just to say we own a house together and a car. I’m on maternity leave due to go back to work part time in October. I would like to sell our house and have a fresh start near my parents.

So sorry he's become such a twat. It's worse when it's unexpected. It sounds as though he is trying to relive his youth - hopefully he won't object if you say you want to divorce.

You've done the right thing getting copies of his earnings. Do you know if he has any savings? What about a pension?

Don't forget that your savings, earnings and pension will come into it, too.

Did either of you put more than the other into the down payment for the house? How long were you together?

Good idea re moving nearer to your parents - I hope they'll be able to give you practical and emotional support.

As pp said, don't forget savings and pensions.

Definitely see a solicitor before speaking to him, so you know where you stand. Talk to your parents asap too, for moral (and possibly practical) support.