Hormone contraceptives reducing libido

[Polly83]

Since the age of 16 I have been taking the contraceptive pill and since having my second child have now had the hormone implant fitted. I am now in my mid 30s.
I have always had a low sex drive and remember in my 20s getting the pill changed to another brand as I felt it was decreasingly my libido but the GP assured me that it wasn't the contraceptive and so I carried on taking it.
I have finally had enough and am going to get the implant taken out as I'm convinced that it's having an effect on my libido. I am gutted that I didn't think to try it before but my DH has finally had enough after many years of me pushing him away and now my children are a little older and less reliant on me I feel I have a little more time to concentrate on my own health and wellbeing. I have read lots online about how the hormones have made other ladies completely uninterested in sex. Has anyone else had this? Has anyone's else stopped using hormone contraception for this reason? Did it help?

I thought hormonal contraception was to blame for my low sex drive.

Dh want for the shop. After years of being off it, nothing improved.

I am now getting divorced (not due to lack of sex) and with someone else. My sex drive is much higher now.

Personally I now believe it's because I didn't fancy exh that much, sex wasn't great and the relationship was lacking intimacy.

Me and Dp are great friends. We laugh all the time, spend great time together and fancy eachother like mad. I realised that I haven't really fancied anyone this much.

I am on the same contraception now that was with dh.

How is your relationship in general?

I’ve been lurking on MN for months but have never posted. But, seeing your post, I felt I should leave a reply – it seems like you are in the position I was about 2 years ago.

I’ve been with my husband since uni days and had been using cerelle (progestogen-only pill) for all that time, apart from when we were trying for kids and when I was pregnant. It was only during those times when I wasn’t taking the pill that I felt any particular sexual desire (tbh, I suddenly felt horny all the time!!) but left that to changes to my body as a result of pregnancy. All other times I felt virtually no sexual desire. We had sex on a semi regular basis, but it was always functional.

A couple of years ago DH confronted me about it. Id been putting him off and off and off. I knew, deep down, that I should have been doing something to try and keep our sex life alive, but its always so easy to find an excuse – too busy at work, children waking up at night, never getting a “romantic” opportunity.

My DH had occasionally raised the issue – I filed it in my mind as “moaning” – but looking back, he wasn’t. He was being sensitive and gentle – I think I was just moody and unfair! Then a couple of years ago, he properly raised the issue and sat me down and explained the effect it was having on him. It all fell into place for me.

I stopped using cerelle. I think it took about six months before I started to actually notice a change. So in answer to your question, it did help - but not straight away.

Before I stop typing this huge message, I’d say one thing – I had to do other things too. It was more of a lifestyle change. I started taking more care of myself (more exercise, I changed my hair style, I had my nails done more regularly, I started getting a wax more regularly) and I found that by drawing a line under things and making some fundamental changes increased my confidence. I also think that, looking back, a change in hair-style showed DH that was I serious about changing things. I think it was important to give those 'signals' to both him and me. And in the bedroom, I tried really hard to try and be a bit kinky. I’d always been a bit shy and reserved, so when I tried things that previously I’d have balked at, my DH was delighted and that, in turn, gave me so much more confidence. It did take some courage though.

DH is definitely my life partner. I adore him. So do our DS and DD. Im glad I made the change, looking back I think he might have left me or had an affair after all the years of me turning him away. Now things are wonderful and I couldn’t be happier.

I’ll make sure I follow this post and am happy to talk or answer anything else you want to ask. Good luck!

My contraceptive history is the same as yours, pill since 14, then Mirena coil in late twenties. I recently came off the coil to start using Natural Cycles, and my libido has gone through the roof. To be fair, it hasn’t been low (lower on the coil than the pill) but it’s noticeably higher with nothing. It’s a bit frustrating really, as DP already has a lower libido. I’m climbing the walls now.

Shortstuff08 asks a good question tho. What's the rest of your relationship like in and out of the bedroom?

I absolutely had this experience with hormonal contraception and would never take it again. Have successfully used fertility awareness and condoms for 4-5 years now.

I started the pill when I was 17 then switched to implanon at 21. Had it taken out at 28. I didn't realize the impact on my sex drive because I was so young when I started and also single pretty much my whole 20s. So I didn't notice that my libido was low until I stopped and I was like, whoa! I'm so horny!! I also think it impacted my ability to orgasm easily but some of that was emotional as well.

I hate anything that interferes with hormones. I had a copper coil fitted on friday instead which is non hormonal.

OMG, this sounds like me too!

I'm going to have my mirena coil removed too. I've read that you should take supplements afterwards. Does anyone have any experience of that?

northernsara - what do you mean by 'kinky'? I know everyone is different, but i haven't a clue! any suggestions from anyone else?

I had no sex drive with the implant and when I went back on the pill found I had a very low sex drive. Now on the copper coil and wouldn’t never go back. I think hormone changes definitely impact on it and mine was possibly triggered by the implant.

Sorry Bollygirl, I don’t know anything about supplements. I didn’t use them, although I did try and eat healthily.

As for what I meant by kinky, I doubt you want me to go into detail, but before things were pretty standard – we’d have sex, maybe different positions etc, but I was embarrassed to do much more than that. But I knew that there were loads of things out there that I guessed my DH was tempted by, but I didn’t really know much about them or what to do. It all felt a bit intimidating.

I kind of just took the plunge and tried a few things, and (like I said) my DH was so excited and happy by the change, and it gave me the confidence to try more things and, most importantly, the confidence to enjoy myself again. I think so much of this is for me was physical and mental.

@northernsara - totally DO want you to go into detail. Would appreciate the ideas! lol

I found the Mirena much better than the pill for this, though I can see a couple of PPs haven't seen any difference. Could be worth a try if you still want to use long-lasting contraception?

OK – slight cringe, but what is the internet for if you cant ask questions like that?

• I let him watch me masturbate which wasn’t something I’d been open about before
• I got some hints and tips on another forum about giving bjs – and surprised him by swallowing (again not something I’d done before)
• I initiated sexting with him, and sent him some photos (I was too nervous to do that before, but once we’d started I found it quite a bit easier to be open about things through text – wasn’t as intimidating as discussing things face to face!)
• I surprised him with a toy
• I used a finger in his bum him whilst giving a bj

He loved it all – and after the initial nerves, so did I!

Before I’d always clammed up about stuff and immediately thought “ick” or “no” straight away… but, I found the more I was prepared to experiment the more relaxed I became, the more I enjoyed it and the more I realised it was just worth it to give us both a thrill and repair our relationship.

Thanks! I actually think I've done must of that stuff before - I guessed it was all pretty standard and thought you were going to surprise me! lol

Well, I I tried to help Bollygirl! I get the impression I might have been a bit 'sheltered' before - I think plenty of my gfs have had a wilder past than me!

Anyway, I now feel guilty that I might have hijacked the post and curious to whether polly83 has found any of this any use!

No reply from polly83 - must have scared her off! But IMHO it's rude to ask for help and then no engage or give a thanks!

My libido increased dramatically when I came off the pill. I was absolutely furious that I wasn't told what an impact it would have. I've not used hormonal contraceptives for 10 years now, and won't do again.

Spoke with a group of gfs about this yesterday. I didn’t realise, but it’s more widespread than I thought. I think too many suffer in silence.

It was interesting to hear that a few didn’t realise the natural level of their sex drives because they’d been on hormonal contraception for years, or even decades.

Thanks northernsara. I’m definitely going to change contraception.

I’m also going to start another thread asking for advice and suggestions for how I can add a little kink to things for DH.

Hi all..............I'm a husband who's wife is in a similar situation as yours. Just our of interest..............what contraception are you using now your are off the pill?

Help. I don’t know what to do and I’m so upset. I came across this thread a year ago about loss of libido and everything clicked into place. Just like @polly83, I’d been pushing my husband away and I think it was to do with hormone contraception. My husband had had enough of a pretty limited sex life and I wanted to do something about it.

I promised to myself that I’d my coil removed - and that’s what I did.

But, despite knowing that I needed to make an effort with my husband… I kind of never did. I mean, right at the start (about a year ago) I made a bit of an effort - we had sex a bit more regularly, but despite my DH being understanding and patient, I never really did anything he wanted (no fantasies, no special underwear, no nothing). Sex soon went back to just a couple of times a month (if that) for 5 minutes in the morning before the kids got up.

DH never said anything. He was completely understanding, gave me time and space... but also sometimes a gentle nudge and reminder. I love him so much.

He sat me down last night and told me that he has been really unhappy and can’t continue without a sex life and he asked for my permission to move out. He asked my permission - he is so kind to me it makes me f-ing mad that I’ve put him and me in this situation.

I massively regret not doing anything and feel I’ve wasted my chance. I asked him for another chance and he said that he’s been trying to give me that chance for the past year… and he’s right. I just didn’t take it.

I’m in such a mess. What should I do?

Hi bollygirl.

I would start a new thread. This may help you get more answers relating to your situation.

It’s a difficult one this as whilst you are getting the bombshell news now, he will have been leading up to this for a long time and it is possible his feelings for you are gone now sadly.

Thanks - I thought about starting a new thread, but I wanted to give some context as, especially the first post from @polly83, summed things up perfectly for me over a year ago.

You cannot underestimate the possible effect on libido of hormonal contraception, not only does it mess with your usual biology it also has been proven to affect the good bacteria in your gut which has a lot of impact on your mood (most of your serotonin is produced in your gut).

I was on the pill from a young age only to have a massive rise in libido after the birth of my first child as I refused to go back on the pill. I also had the mirena coil after my second child, that didn't seem to affect me as much as the contraceptive pill but it still gave my misery since I had it removed.

I can't believe I lost so much of my younger years not knowing what a real libido felt like. I enjoyed sex, but I had almost zero drive, I could take it or leave it. Now, at 41 its a totally different story!