what would you do

[user3691215]

has anyone been accused of an affair they didn't have ?

a colleague got dumped so I tried to help rebuild their confidence by being flirty and interested in them so that they don't get depressed.

as a result the workplace gossip is that i am having an affair and last night my partner heard this rumor

w t a f ? why are people like this? i thought we were all supposed to look after each other in this civilised age.

i am furious that i am being talked about, is it better just to let people talk until they move on to another topic or to correct them, has anyone been in a similar situation, wwyd

I probably wouldn't flirt with someone who was recently dumped! It has the potential to go very wrong.

But yes, I've had untrue gossip about me and a colleague. No idea why it was started since I hadn't been flirting at all. I laughed it off, but it could have been damaging if my partner had believed it. So I don't spread rumours when I hear them - it's poisonous.

you flirted with a colleague and made them think you were interested in them, even though you have a partner?

My mates have relationship fall outs but I don’t go out my way to make them think I fancy them to make them feel better.

You in a relationship, so therefore your behaviour was inappropriate

Really
I mean really
WTAF has happened this summer.

That is weirdest reason to flirt with someone I've ever heard! You pretended to be interested in him to help him? You lead him on to make him feel better? What were you going to do If he made a pass?
You really need to step back and have a look at your idea of what's helpful.

I would not be comfortable with DH being 'flirty and interested' in someone at all, ever and especially not if they had just come out of a relationship and were vulnerable.

I'm not surprised that there is gossip about you, why wouldn't there be? You were being flirty with a newly available man. Does he know that you are not really interested in him? And if he does how will that help.

I honestly think you're behaviour was at the best an ill advised attempt to be kind but actually very inappropriate on many levels.

I’m only here to see how quickly this gets deleted.

Suuuuure you flirted with them out of the goodness of your heart, to help them. bullshit

Well, I’m stumped as to why you didn’t enlighten your partner as to your cunning, yet selfless plan? Flirting and acting interested is the very least we should all be doing each time a person gets dumped! He should have suggested it himself, if he was any sort of civilised human being.

Are you sure you didn’t have an EA? Sounds like it

Hmm, I'd probably have a little word with myself for being such a dick I imagine. Then apologise to the partner and the dumped colleague, come clean about the totally ridiculous and batshit plan and try and move on.

Or be honest with yourself about your actual motives (clearly fancying the colleague) and stop making up nonsense that no-one in their right mind would believe. That's always an option?

a colleague got dumped so I tried to help rebuild their confidence by being flirty and interested in them

And why wouldn't you?
Tick tock until MN take a look at this thread.

I think you have become victim to your own behaviour. If you hadn't had flirted then I think your colleagues would be behaving differently.

Sounds like you actually were cracking on to your vulnerable colleague, but now you've been busted you're trying to pass it off as "they were feeling low, I was trying to make them feel better". Do you think we're all fucking mugs?

Ha, reading the previous comments it's clear that if you were road-testing your made-up bullshit lies on us good folks of Mumsnet to see if they would wash, they won't definitely won't. "So she didn't get depressed", my arse. Good luck getting that pile of tripe over on your partner.

Say eff all.

You're being ridiculous!!! How does flirting with no intention of doing anything help anyone? And how would you feel if your dh was flirting with someone to make them feel better??