So the situation is I was with my ex for about one year between 2016 and 2017- from the beginning the relationship was one that was very exciting and I still had ‘the butterflies’ long after they’d usually have flown away with anyone else. The relationship started to break down for several reasons, one of them being that he was going away on business for 4 months in the summer (to Canada, so not just a simple train ride away), and shortly afterwards potentially moving 1.5 hours away. We were keen to meet up and make it work after he returned to the country however because of life happening as it does, this never happened; I tend to think of the whole situation as a case of ‘right person, wrong time’.
What came of this is that we didn’t talk for about a year, until I decided that I could do with some closure and texted him in April of this year. He responded to the text in about 30 seconds with a phonecall, and we chatted for about 2 hours in total, just to catch up. These interactions continued on and off until about two weeks ago, always just by phone or text but always very flirty and reminiscent of the time we spent together. He then asked me why I had contacted him again, to which I replied ‘just to stay friends’- at the time I didn’t know how he felt at all, so even though it was romantic for me I was trying to save face.. big mistake I know. At the time he seemed quite disappointed with my answer and then became extremely cold for a couple of weeks.
Fast forward to two weeks ago, when he told me he would like to meet ‘for a catch up’. The ‘issue’ was that I live in a big city where parking is few and far between; we were supposed to meet up for coffee, to the point where I was waiting there, but he could not find anywhere to park (I had walked). In the end, we agreed to just give up, he picked me up and I offered to make him a drink at my house- second error. To cut a long story short, we were chatting for about 1.5 hours and it was all very familiar and very flirtatious again, laughing the whole time. The meeting ended with a hug and him asking could he see me for some dinner at some point in the near future- to which I answered ‘yes, why not’ (I’ll tell you exactly why shortly).
In the entire time we had been chatting he hadn’t mentioned any serious relationships, only some people he had been ‘kind of seeing’... so you can imagine my shock when I noticed a pattern of the same woman tagging him in facebook posts. Facebook isn’t to be taken seriously at the best of times, I know, but I am an overthinker so I couldn’t help but find this woman on other social media forms also, just to put my own mind at ease- or so I thought. When I looked for her instagram, I found that he had picked her up from the airport on the same day we had met up (he told me he had to shoot because of a meeting), and she had tagged a picture of the flowers he had bought her with the hashtag ‘boyfriend’. Evidently, this man is now in a relationship.. however there was never quite closure between us. There was never a grand argument or a splitting up- he just went away and then we didn’t ever meet up again. Of course, I was hurt and confused.
What I really want a second opinion on, though, is what his motivations for meeting me could actually be. If it were once every few months and we had children together I would say fair enough, however he has now asked me out for dinner three days after I last saw him. What do you think I could be letting myself in for? Am I wrong to go? Am I reading too much into this? It’s very hard for me to see clearly and to know what to do because I don’t want to snatch this man out from under someone’s nose, however I do have extremely strong feelings for him. You know what they say about love being blind. I can’t help thinking that there still may be a chance for it to work now the circumstances are preferable, and just want to know if I am being naive/unreasonable.