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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to start talking again

3 replies

Dreadfulidea · 29/07/2018 16:06

We have the same arguement over and over. Basically DP uses his money to shut down disagreements and buy his way back into favour.

Perhaps I shouldn't let him pay for stuff but then we wouldn't end up doing anthing and as he says as he has the money for eating out and holidays he wants to do it with his girlfriend.

We don't live together and we had a big argument last week ehich was pretty much down to me being fed up with this situation
The main issue is ,I know we now won't speak until Friday, when we go to France on holiday. I texted him today ( quite early for Sunday hence not talking directly) to see if he wanted to go out with friends but he texted back he couldn't. Nothing else.

He'll be fine in France because he's paid for the Chunnel and Gite.He'll will use that to remind me how lucky we are ( which to be fair is true). I feel I have to do happy and excitied in France or I look like a dick bringing up a week old argument , despite him having sulked for a week.

So how should I approach it? Do I phone him for a non argumentive chat tonight, thereby both of us dropping the issue (and putting me back to square 1)
Let him sulk this week and just have fun in France?
Not go to France if I haven't spoken to him all week?
Something else?

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 29/07/2018 16:09

Why are you with him?

Do you mean that he bribes you into ending an argument, by paying for something that you can't afford?

What is it you're arguing about?

RandomMess · 29/07/2018 16:32

Long term how is the relationship going work...

Dreadfulidea · 29/07/2018 17:05

When we get on its great. We are both independent so I don't mind the space to be honest. I just really hate the sulking, if he said something like" I can't discuss this as you are too cross"that would be fine. It's the refusal to talk and then pretending it's all good.
We have been together five years

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