Scared of pregnancy

[tweetledee]

This is massively effecting our marriage. We have a 18 month old DC and had always intended to stop at one due to finances, jobs etc. I thought this feeling of fear would pass, assumed it was because of birth and our choice to have one.

I went back on to the pill as soon as I could, we also use condoms.

Yet I am still ridiculously scared of falling pregnant again! I think I should probably visit GP, as this isn't normal is it? It's not just a general concern I think about sometimes, it's this all consuming fear - to the point I dread sex, insist on checking the condom after to make sure it hasn't broken, and a general feeling of doom if the thought of pregnancy enters my mind.

I had a traumatic birth, but feel I've worked through that - it's not the idea of birth that causes this fear, it's thinking about having another child to care for, going through the first six weeks, the first six months again. I love my DC and have loved the 18 months of joy DC has brought, not a difficult baby, sleeps and eats well, so I cannot understand why I'm having such an issue with this.

Anyone else felt this way? DH is getting fed up with how it's effecting me and our relationship.

Ask your husband to get a vasectomy. Would he be willing?

Sounds like you might need counselling, I think it's gone beyond normal anxiety.

Have you considered longer term contraception, like a coil or something?

Yes, I think he would get a vasectomy, but I stupidly read up on how it can occasionally fail.
Same with the stories of pregnancy and the coil. I think you're right, I need some counselling.

You have the right to be sterilised yourself you know. Get a referral to your gynaecologist and they will look at your history and current health and truly explain best methods for you. But that also includes sterilisation and you can insist on it.
Counselling can help us understand trauma but you have the right to want no more pregnancies regardless. All the best.