Sending you hugs and flowers (don't know how to do the emoji yet).
Gosh I really feel sympathise. I cannot imagine how you're really feeling but I know what it is to lose somebody.
You are grieving right now. Grieving him, grieving the idea of your marriage and family, and grieving your broken trust.
That's going to be a process and it won't be quick, but it will change with time.
What you really need now, is to get as much support as you can. Don't be afraid to ask. Practical support, hugs, people to listen.
You have us here; we will give you kindness and understanding, but find some people in your everyday life too, if you can.
What's been done to you is horrible and it's not your fault, so don't allow feelings of shame to creep in, as I know these often do in situations like this.
It was his choice to abandon any attempts to save your relationship and to go off with someone else. Right now, it's your choice to love yourself and let your loved ones support you.
I hope that just one day at a time, you can enjoy your children and heal bit by bit, but be kind and patient with yourself.
Lots of love, Kitten.