Stayed out until 8am with work woman then sent this message

[Prettysureitsnotok]

My boyfriend of 5 years came home drunk at 8am. Couldn’t talk sense to me, but used my laptop at 8.30 to send this message to the woman he was out with:

“hi,,
im such a twat,
they wouldnt let me back in because i was toooooo fucked and i am really embarrassed, i had a really nice time anyways,
but can you calggju
if not then thats ok i guesss but it would be really aprciated if we can, i know its alot f but if we can a have qituick char it wuld be grest ;my - my number is xxxxxxxxxxx
thankw xx”

I’ve been nothing but an occasional afterthought since he started this job, is this as bad as I think it is?

By, you know, showing up to drinks he invites me to, then going home by myself when he says actually his workmates have said I’m not welcome to join them(after I arrive) I feel awful for you. What does he say when you try to talk to him about all this? This girl might have zero interest in your boyfriend and he is infatuated. Probably best to have a proper conversion not when he is hungover. Can you head away for a day or two and arrange to have a serious chat on Tuesday about the future of your relationship?

Whatever the message may or may not mean, he is behaving like a major knob.

Maybe you should adopt the same tactic as wherever barred him for being a drunken twat.

We can’t afford to live separately for a week or two. How do I end the cycle of talking about it when we already know it’s over?

If your sure it is over I suppose you go look for a new place to live, give notice to your landlord and tell him it's over

Did she reply to him? He has no respect for you, treating you like this

I think your relationship is over anyway irrespective of whether he is actively cheating or looking to cheat. I often read on MN that lots of men won't leave relationships until they've got another woman lined up so I would guess he is hoping to progress things with his colleague to a point where he is confident that she will form a relationship with him and only then will he actually end things with you.

If I was you I would be telling him that the relationship is over and seeking to move out ASAP and cut all ties. I honestly think it sounds like there isn't much of a relationship to salvage at this point and prolonging things only plays to his advantage.

Your relationship is over, OP.

What's your financial situation? Are you renting? How long is the lease, if so, and did you both sign it? Do you have a credit card?

Renting. Just in my name. Can’t cover bills alone this month and he has no money to move with. After next payday I can afford bills alone. It’s him who needs to leave but all the bills come in next week after his next payday.

He spent all his money out with her last night 🙄 he hasn’t been “able to afford” to even buy me a drink in months

i’ve been there OP. when the time came for me to dump him, he wasnt even bothered. i suspect your ‘D’P might be the same. does he have family or friends he can stay with?

give him a months notice after he pays the
bills next week, that way he has time to look and at the end of the month you can afford your bills.

OP I feel awful for you. Your original post and then the one about being sent home from drinks he'd invited you to! What an arse. That is totally disrespectful and just awfully inconsiderate to your feelings.

I just wanted to say I've been there, with all rent and bills in my name (because his credit rating was so poor) and I knew I had to get out of the relationship but was so worried about affording everything alone. I had to save and borrow as much as I could and in the end I told my landlord what had been going on (he was abusive) and luckily he let me leave early so I saved some on rent.

I don't have the answers for you but I just wanted to say I've been where you are and had the added stress of the financial burden as well as what's going on in your relationship. Lean on those you can, I'm sure they'd rather offer a helping hand than see you stay with this vile man.

Stop being sucha bloody mug, op

Honestly...what have you been thinking ?

Fuck him, kick him out.

So the house is in your name and you can manage alone financially? You are at a massive advantage in this situation. I would ask him to move out (after he has paid this month's bills), he can go and sofa-surf with his wonderful workmates.

Honoured to be blessed with an @AnyFucker kick up the arse. Your word goes I’m thinking I can do so much better than this. I already handle everything perfectly competently. I don’t need this.

Do you have anyone you can borrow some money from so that you can boot his arse out now?

You most certainly do not !
This bloke is bringing you down. Offload him.

ring your bills explain you have had an unforeseen circumstance and is it possible to pay next week when you can you will be suprised alot of companys are ok with this.

then kick his arse out hes clearly trying it on am sure he has somewhere to go either way its not your problem anymore.

Kick the fucker out

I discovered ex’s affair on a works night out he reluctantly invited me to. Spent the night ignoring me and talking to ow. She then split her dress and was planning on going home early. Ex suggested I could walk the 2 miles home and back to get her a safety pin.

And that was the end of that.

I'm sorry OP - but you can do so much better than him. You turning up for drinks then saying you're not wanted, spending 23 hours with another woman but apparently nothing going on, all rubbish for you. Take care and get an action plan in place and move on.

Do you have a shared account...
If so draw all your money out of it, so he can't use it.