DP doesn't want me anymore

[gowie3112]

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. DP and I have been together 3 years and have a 7 month old DD. Our sex life was brilliant until I got pregnant and between him working extra hours and me being very poorly, everything faded away a little. After DD was born it got loads better again.. for about 2 months. I now feel I have to request sex from him. We've spoken about it and I suggested that we make the effort at least twice a month when LO is at her GP's. Tonight she's at MIL, I prepare for a romantic night in and when bedtime comes round he's too tired and not interested. Baring in mind he stayed downstairs for over an hour after I went up playing his game. I feel unwanted, unloved and it's really getting me down. I don't feel like a bit of intimacy and love is too much to ask or AIBU? He doesn't seem to be attracted to me anymore but it could be something else.. Any advice would be appreciated.

OP - Ask him what the problem is, and tell him how you feel. Don't let him bullshit you, and don't try to lead the conversation so that you get a 'nice' answer which you may find more palatable.

You may not like the answers you get but you need the truth from him. It's only fair. Then you can decide what you want to do.

He's a cheek to treat you like this and not attempt to address whatever's bothering him, and affecting your relationship.

You need to keep in mind there may be somebody else, as this is classic behaviour when it comes to the 'signs'. When it's not another woman, it's often a porn habit - such men are desensitised by porn and their real life libido suffers.

What 'game' does he play downstairs whilst you are upstairs?

Don't let him fob you off. If worse comes to worse - well then, you survived before you knew him and you will survive without him. All.paun fades eventually.

Don't let any man blight your life. You've the right to happiness. His rejection of you is beyond rude. He needs to man up and lay his cards on the table.

Are you sure he was playing a "game" downstairs? I agree with MistressDeeCee, it's often a porn habit that makes men ignore their wives when it comes to sex.

I agree with the last two posters. Game or Porn.

Get turned off.

Ps I think mistressCeeCee gives good advise wrt not 'leading' the conversation to an answer you find bearable.

Wow. So a man working long hours with a 7 month old baby doesn't want sex and PPs automatically assuming he's having an affair or watching porn. Of course, it could be that, or he could just be tired. Reverse the genders and the poster would get a different response. Of course it's a problem, but OP won't know what unless she talks to him.

We have spoken about it. With a mixture of other things he's been very run down lately and his mood is low so we've discussed going to the doctors to get checked out and maybe ask for some help with how he is feeling atm. He is a very good man and I absolutely idolise him. I don't care about sex per se, it's our relationship I'm worried about and also how low DP has been recently. I hope once he's gotten the help he needs, everything will fall back into place. Either way, I'll be there to support him.
But the gaming so much does need to stop, I don't mind him playing but not all the time!
Thank you for your replies

I agree. If a man posted this he'd be told a lot of harsh words.

Apart from sex...is there affection?

Do you have date nights or spend quality time together?