Is infidelity less acceptable nowadays?

[NotTheFordType]

I grew up in the 70s and 80s.

I remember lots of shit coms tha were specifically about infidelity, eg
The Mistress
Butterflies
Duty free

Plus lots of soap opera threads (Mike/Diedre)

I definitely grew up thinking that affairs were part of life. If you didn't, why not ?

I didn’t my first experience of divorce/affairs was when a friend’sdad went off with someone in their social group. I was 16/17. We were all really shocked Interesting point though

Ken wasn't happy about his wife's affair. Don't think anything's changed in the last 100 years.

Maybe just more chances to air our feelings about it due to social media?

You’re comparing crap tv with actual life? Or are you saying infidelity is a less common storyline in crap tv in 2018?

I didn't grow up thinking affairs were normal!

I think women are more likely to be able to leave a "wayward" partner these days, like they're more likely to have the means to leave an abusive partner as they're more likely to have a job, and therefore the financial means to do so.

I don't think soaps portray affairs as acceptable, they just couldn't leave couples happily married as there's not much of a story line then, so it's a circle of affairs and illness and crisis if the characters stay in. Has that changed? I haven't watched soaps in years. Don't remember the shit-coms particularly well so can't comment on that. Not sure what it has to do with real life really. Affairs are common, they're not acceptable.

It did seem normal on TV and film and in some novels, I agree.

Though I think real-life columns in the papers and magazine articles when I was a teenager in the 90s (those confessional columns were a very 90s thing), some books (Adrian Mole always stuck) also gave the impression that it wasn't something responsible adults did.

There was a fairly clear message from non-screen sources that it was right to leave the other person before doing anything if you met someone who blew you away, and better if there was a reasonable gap to be on one's own and have a think.

I wonder if an increase in female writers partly changed these memes and mores (although in some sectors like Hollywood film there are still not many). I've hardly seen any soaps since the mid 90s so I've no idea what those are doing now though. The problem with soaps is that they need endless drama and conflict to keep going.

The only people I've encountered IRL with attitudes similar to the people from old sitcoms would all be over 55 now: two colleagues at an old workplace who were having a long term affair that was an open secret, were quite giggly and used quite a lot of innuendos in conversation with others too, and a man I was briefly involved with who used to work in the entertainment industry, and who talked in totally blase fashion about the time when he was sleeping with so and so's wife and that sort of thing.

I think back then it was far more acceptable for men to cheat on their wives, it was almost a badge of honour (of course the OW was just a slut or tart).

Thankfully, things have moved on a bit, in the same way that casual racism or homophobia would be unacceptable on the telly, unless it was to signal how bad a character is.

I think that it has definitely become more acceptable to end a marriage over infidelity so infidelity in marriage specifically is less acceptable.

I worked in a large insurance company from age 16-21 from '82-'87. Almost everyone working there who was married was also having a work based relationship. I'm glad I was so young or I think I could have believed that was normal.

Obviously it's all down to individuals making the right or wrong decisions but I do believe the absence of social media/mobile phones in those days allowed that sort of behaviour to stay hidden.

I think women have a lot more scope to leave now. I think the social stigma of divorce, single parent, etc is massively reduced plus women have far more ability to earn. It’s not great now (think about the maternity penalty on long term earnings, access to wrap around childcare, house prices, unpaid maintenance, lack of access to housing, etc) but it is better than it was for our mothers ad grandmothers. Basically women don’t have to put up with as much shit for their husbands as they used to.

Not sure if it's less acceptable now or not. I'm inclined to agree that being able to divorce without judgement has meant people don't have to stand for it. I also think smart technology has made it both easier to do and easier to be caught.

I must admitt over the last few years I've been more and more shocked at the sheer amount of people I know, in one way or another have been involved in affairs, either as the injured party, or doing the deed or being a mistress...

It rather feels to me that the question should be "Do people still believe in fidelity?"

I think people are far more aware of the potential consequences of an affair than they were in the past.

The risk of pregnancy - it is now far harder for a man to dump a pregnant OW and just walk away with no financial consequences.

The risk of possible infection - there is an increased awareness of STIs and their longer term impact to health and fertility.

Improved (though still woeful) child support makes it more possible for the wronged partner to think that they arent prepared to tolerate the situation and have some chance of being financially viable as a single parent.