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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Thinking of leaving don't know how

1 reply

shanh · 27/07/2018 18:23

Feeling really dishearten and fed up.
I will start of saying I have been suffering from PND and receiving treatment for the last month which had made me feel better and stronger but now it has all come crashing down.

Last night I mentioned to my OH that it upsets me when he talks about his past and uses 'we' referring to him and his ex - as when I talk about my past I say 'I' because I wouldn't want to hurt him or make him feel uncomfortable. He has thrown at me before that he can never remember argument between them and all we do it's argue. Before I even mentioned this I asked for it not to be an argument...
Well he stormed off to bed. Then came down for the big argument , I said I realise you might say it without thinking but it hurts and I would like it to stop. I feel I'm not good enough. Then he goes with the insults 'he can't do anything right' 'he's walking on egg shells' 'I'm a burden to this whole family' 'I'm selfish' 'get a grip' ' I'm crazy' etc.
I let him get it all out then he walked off again. When I went to bed he said do you want to talk and I just said I don't know why you can't just say I'm sorry I didn't realise it belittles you and I'll stop but instead you felt the need to insult me.
With that he stopped talking and walked out this morning ( still yet to return) as I spend the day with DS (8 months)
I feel like after a few weeks of treatment I can see that this wasn't the right reaction from him and I don't think it will change. What has hurt the most was the burden to family comment as if it wasn't for my son I really think I would have done something stupid months ago - something I have spoken to him about.

I just don't know what to do, will it ever change? How do I even leave ? (My house he moved in 2 years ago) I don't know how to approach it without it being an argument or being insulted.

It breaks me because I do love and adore him but I can't see things getting better.

OP posts:
OctaviaOctober · 27/07/2018 22:35

Why does he even need to talk about his ex? Do they have children together? If not, he needs to move on. That said, if it's your house, he needs to leave. Do you have support from family/friends?

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