Dating - active on Tinder

[Arghthisissodifficult]

I met a man a month ago on Tinder who seems lovely. He works away part of the week (200 miles away in London). He seems to want a relationship, we slept with each other this week for the first time after three dates and he is making plans for things we can do together. He says he wants us to be exclusive and doesn’t want anyone else.

But I’ve noticed his Tinder location updates between the two locations which must mean he is opening the app and I don’t know how to bring this up with him. I’ve had a relationship with someone recently who had been cheating on me for three months so I’m naturally suspicious. I really do like him so I’m not sure how to handle this.

OP - it’s way too early to be able to tell if you can trust him.
I’d also be wary of him talking about exclusivity & relationship so early. Neither of you really know each other.

If it bothers you a lot - talk about it

and make sure you use condoms !

It's all too soon.
You need to keep your options open as well.
That exclusive chat was way too soon.
Take your time. Enjoy it for what it is for the next couple of months and then see where you are.

Been there got the T Shirt with men like this.

If he really meant what he said about wanting to exclusively date he wouldn't be actively logging onto tinder.

I've come across so many men who said exactly the same line to me in the past, and I'm sorry to say it never ended well.

My advice would be to simply confront him about it. Ask him if he's still actively using tinder and see what he says.

If he really wants this to go somewhere he will have no issues in deactivating tinder for you!

Thank you, I’ll see how it goes and give myself time too. I suppose time will tell if he is genuine in that he will involve me in his life, introduce me to others etc. Next time we talk about things, I will ask if he’s still actively swiping on Tinder.

You don’t need to ‘give it time’ with regard to sexual exclusivity.

What do you want? Think about it, then tell him. If he doesn’t want the same thing, send him on his way.

In my opinion, confessing after 3 dates that it's exclusive is a bit of a red flag, it's like he's trying to convince you that he's not shagging other people.

I also met my partner through a dating app - not Tinder. And we became exclusive after about a month and a half. When this came up I approached it by saying if we are exclusive shall we both delete our accounts? We did this when we were with each other so he saw that I deleted mine and he deleted his. I understand what you mean from being naturally suspicious, I was the same after having an ex who cheated. Unfortunately at some point if you really like him you have to take a leap of faith x

Maybe he is opening Tinder to check if you have been active on it?

He could also be checking if you were on it. Talk to him about it

How are you seeing that he’s opening Tinder unless you are also active on Tinder?

I’ve gone on a few times just to see if his location has changed which tells me if he’s opened the app. I’ll talk to him about what he wants, thank you for your advice.

Ive also noticed that when you get an update on the Tinder app that the blue light showing you as active seems to be on...