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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I text him?

12 replies

JellyBean31 · 26/07/2018 18:23

And if so what do I write?

Spent the night with a guy from work back in March (same company but different departments so don't see him all the time), at the time he was seperated but still living in the same house as his wife.

I did the whole self-preservation thing of pretending it was a one-off and I wasn't interested in anything more when really I did (do) like him but was worried the actual physical separation between him & his wife might not happen.

Well it has happened about 6 weeks ago, I've sat back thinking he'd get in contact if he was interested but he hasn't, possibly because of how I was at the time (or possibly because he's not interested).

I was chatting to him today and I just wanted him to know why I acted the way I did and let him know I do like him, it's not an appropriate work conversation though!

I have his number but have never messaged.. Do I? or do I wait for another social occasion that we're both at? Though it could be Christmas and I'm thinking of all the wasted time between the then if we are both sitting back thinking the other one doesn't like them.

Were both middle aged FFS and I do appreciate how juvenile this all is.

OP posts:
Smellbellina · 26/07/2018 18:25

Nah message him, get it sorted now. Don’t wait until the next social occasion!

cresentmooned · 26/07/2018 18:26

He just maybe isn't ready just yet or even thinking about it. But you could just text and say you would love to get a drink sometime if he was up for it and take it from there?

Hellywelly10 · 26/07/2018 18:26

If you text him he may text you back, he may not. If you can handle either response then do it.

RainySeptember · 26/07/2018 18:26

I think people will be on to say that he'd have been in touch if he wanted to get to know you better.

How did your conversation today go though? Do you think he'll go away with the impression that you'd like him to contact you?

If not, I'd text. There's nothing to lose really is there.

EmmaC78 · 26/07/2018 18:27

In most of these text or don't text posts I am in the don't text camp but from what you describe I would text in this situation. I would probably just say it was nice seeing him today and would he like to go for a drink soon and leave it at that.

LeavingLasVegasForGood · 26/07/2018 18:29

Well as long as he's definitely and properly separated, I don't suppose you have much to lose by sending a light hearted text: Fancy a drink? He'll either respond or not and then you will know where you stand.

JellyBean31 · 26/07/2018 18:31

It was a general chatty conversation today... We were in the middle of an office move so it was mainly about that. I don't think I gave the impression of anything other than a friendly work colleague (but that was deliberate).

If he text back to say he wasn't ready or wasn't interested I could handle it personally but I would feel a bit awkward in work.

OP posts:
NewtoOLD · 26/07/2018 18:32

Text him . Life is too short .

JellyBean31 · 26/07/2018 18:32

He's definitely seperated properly now.

OP posts:
Dodie66 · 26/07/2018 18:36

Send a text. If you wait till Christmas he might find somebody else. Good luck

sonjadog · 26/07/2018 18:38

Send the text. Then you’ll know either way.

Snowman123 · 26/07/2018 19:02

If he was interested I think he would have pursued you.

However he may have been dealing with the break up of his marriage, or thought you gave the impression you weren't interested.

Dont txt him. Get flirting and see if he bites.......

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