Bit of background.
Generally me and mil get on ok, she has some minor trates which I don?t agree with but generally she?s a nice person and doesn?t go out to intentionally upset people. Fil on the other hand has never really liked me and has had a go at me over various things since me and dh got together, eg when we moved here he wanted to know from me why it had to be here etc, said in a kind of blaming way iyswim. He is quite a condeccending person, he talks to mil as if she's his underling, puts her down in front of people etc so it's not just me. I have had particular issue with him since ds was a baby when we had a row and he didn?t speak to me for two years, but I was the picture of good daughter in lawlyness and went out of my way to be nice/make his favourite foods etc when they came to stay. Anyway this all seemed to resolve by itself and he once again appears to be talking to me. I am, however, under no illusions as to what he thinks about me, as during this row he said some very unpleasant and personal things to me which could never be unsaid. So obviously my view of fil?s actions is probably tainted by the past.
Anyway, we?ve just spent five days there, and whereas we usually have a nice time, he seems to have wound me up more than he usually does. It all started with him keep saying to ds that he was going to smack him, then picking him up and smacking his bottom, in a playful manner, but still saying that it was a smack. Now we don?t smack, but ds still knows what a smack represents, so even though grandad was playing ds still got upset that granddad smacked him for no reason. I told ds that granddad was only playing but did point out that he hadn?t done anything to warrant having a smack, and whether fil got the message or not I don?t know but he stopped doing it, so I didn?t feel the need to say anything to fil.
Then ds had a bit of a cold, and on Monday night mil cooked dinner and ds was eating but couldn?t eat because he kept coughing. So he got down from the table and we gave him some cough medicine and he had his bath, but by the time he?d finished he?d stopped coughing and was hungry. Normally if he?d not eaten he wouldn?t get anything else, but because this was through no fault of his own I asked mil if ds could have something to eat at which point fil made some snide comment about how eating would do his cough the world of good, not. I walked out and tutted in another room..
Then last night mil cooked pasta for dinner, and after eating a few mouthfuls ds suddenly said that he didn?t like it. Fil tutted, I told ds not to be rude, that the pasta was nice, and to eat a few more spoonfuls and then he could have garlic bread. Fil then launched into a tirade at ds saying ?you know what, you haven?t eaten a single thing in the 5 days you?ve been here! I don?t know how you ever survive!? and so on. DH then got annoyed and realed off a list of exactly what ds had eaten in the past five days.
It just makes me so because he is so condescending and objectionable, but I daren?t say anything because I know that the minute I open my mouth, all the things that he?s said/done to annoy me over the past 12 years will come out and I might say something we will all regret.