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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just need cheering up

3 replies

scotgal2017 · 25/07/2018 20:32

Evening all, bit of background, STBXH left me and dcs this time last year. Had been with him 20 years, married 17 and he had been abusive to me on and off the whole relationship. Felt devastated initially but soon realised him leaving had done me and kids a massive favour. Said he had met someone at Xmas last year (don't believe wasn't waiting in wings). I have as little contact as possible with him and I had seen a therapist to help.me.with my issues and to move on.

Kids have gone off to his family today (I have cut ties with them too, another story ), I had 2 job interviews today and now I'm sitting here with my pets with pizza and beer watching TV. I'm a social person aND haven't had a relationship since the end of my marriage, want to focus on me and not rush it so if?/when I have a new relationship I don't pick an arsehole. Just feeling a bit down, will be 40 next year and after a year am wondering if I am destined to be an old spinster. I lost a ton of weight last year as hit the gym but have put some back on again as having been lax (due to.moving countries and finding new home etc). Just feeling quite lonely , even just some adult convo with the opposite sex would be nice! I'm quite independent and had a bit.of fun on a long weekend earlier this year (only a bit of kissing but not really attracted to guy at all buy felt a bit wanted iyswim, neither of us expecting anything serious).
Anyone have any positive stories to help me get over this feeling? Cheers

OP posts:
ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 26/07/2018 00:42

Hi op didnt want to read and run, i dont have much advice apart from focus on yoirself. You said you have moved countries? Do you have a net work of friends etc? Maybe focus on joining a group / taking up a hobby and widening your circle both male and female, things happen when you least expect them an new friend may introduce you to a new love. But sometimes a laugh with a girlfriend and a glass or two is as therapeutic as a cuddle * or more (sometimes not always lol )

scotgal2017 · 26/07/2018 13:28

Thanks for your comment. Having just moved I have to wait to make a new circle.of friends. A few are left behind in the other country and I still speak to them occasionally. I'm hoping once kids start school and I have a job my social life can get better. I'm just feeling like I'm destined.to be alone now even though I know it's right for.me.to focus on myself at this moment in time x

OP posts:
ShouldofWouldofCouldof · 28/07/2018 00:31

It wont feel that way for long, get yourself out there. Are there any child friendly activities near you, where you and dc can meet people ( depending on age of dc: story time at library/ soft play/scouts-you could volunteer too) ? Or even a book club/ craft circle/ excercise group ?

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