I need to find ways of avoiding constant bickering with DH.

[Wellber]

I feel like my DH does a superb job of killing off any remaining passion in our relationship. In fact I feel mentally drained! I am on ML and he is inbetween jobs so will be at home with me until October 🙄 so I really need to find some coping strategies.

Usually I am quite good at avoiding being sucked in by mundane bickering over trivial matters, but lately I'm getting sucked in. Maybe it's because I'm sleep deprived with newborn DS, I don't know.

He corrects me regularly. This morning I was excitedly telling DS that we go on holiday in exactly 1 month. DS's eyes lit up and he was about to ask a question when DH pipes up with "no not a month" I replied "yes today is the 25th we go away on the 25th August."
His reply "Thats a calender month. Not really a month." ???? What?! By then I've lost DS's attention and I'm telling DH not to interrupt me to pull me up on something he hasn't even thought about. DS is looking bored of us bickering yet again.

I tell DH I'm trying to concentrate on something but he continues talking at me anyway so I ask him again to stop talking for 2 minutes. He then responds " you interrupted me when I did x,y and z" I then end up bickering about how I didn't and how its not important now.

I feel the need to justify my opinions and needs all the time as he just doesn't get it if its not what he thinks or believes. Like why I'm not going to take newborn DS out in the heat and DH says "I still think you should go." Sometimes he doesnt even pull me up but find myself justifying everything I'm doing anyway. It's going to be a long 2.5 months! How can I avoid getting into these pathetic squabbles and feeling the need to justify my every thought? Particularly infront of DS1 who is getting as fed up as I am.

My parents correct each other all the time! About everything. I hate it. It's one upmanship where being anally right is more important than anything else. Funny stories are ruined by minute details being corrected and bickered over. Trips to the shop involve intense correcting over time needed or distance to travel. They do it to me too. The only way to stop my head exploding is to 'yes dear' them. Everytime they correct me I just say 'yes dear' and carry on as if they never spoke.
I suggest you try this.
Or
I have told my husband he can only correct me if it's a matter of life and death! Otherwise my head will explode and he will never have sex with me again. Lol.

I’ve got this situation too so I’m following suggestions with interest

I like the threat of no sex!
"If you do that again I will never have sex with you again!"
Feels empowering.
It does actually put me off.

That and several other habits... 😖

You can stop listening. I know we are brought up to listen when we are spoken to...but. He has worn out that duty card. It won’t be rude if it is self defense.

He is policing your thinking process, yes to one-ups-man-ship. Does he need to feel superior?

Ear buds?
Hum a tune.
Blank stare...are you through?
And “yes, dear” is awesome and can be trotted out without thinking, yes, dear. You hear the sound of his voice; yes dear; you don’t even have to listen; yes dear.

At an age appropriate level, you might consider debriefing your dc regarding the fact that this behavior is not something to imitate.

I find that inventing a name for the behaviour and using it with a smirk helps. May I suggest "Mr. Right"? So you say with a smile, "here comes Mr. Right". Every time he does it. Or "I love you Mr. Right". Smile and nod.

There are healthier ways to deal with it but if he's generally OK, I think it works.

Also, why is he not working? Can't he find something to do?

He begins his new job in October and has been paid not to work anywhere else beforehand.
"Funny stories are interrupted by minute details being corrected." Yep. I hate this. I've had many a friend lose their attention as DH urinates all over my funny story with silly corrections.

Yes dear...... roll eyes and continue funny story!

Or the lovely 'god, you really know how to suck the funny out of a funny story don't you!' ....roll eyes and continue funny story.

Sounds tough and there may be some underlying things going on but I would not underestimate life with sleep deprivation! Things that you can normally ignore and tolerate become ridiculously annoying. That may be some of the problem (but not explain all) and hopefully that will improve eventually

Just drop the rope; he can’t play tug of war by himself. Don’t engage.

Perhaps this is his normal and he is a pedantic bickerer at work.
Now he is at home you see him as he really is.
Tell him to get a part time voluntary job and take it out on them.

Don't stop talking if interrupted. Have an self imposed embargo on yourself doing any form of JADE: justify, argue, defend, explain.

For example totally ignore the "not a month" comment, keep prattling to DS.

You only get reeled in if you take the bait. The hunter only lays bait if it is known to attract the prey. Stop biting.

He is clearly itching for fights to keep himself amused. Any reaction whatsoever is thus bait biting.

Grey rock this shit.