Ex climbed into the house through a window

[WellDoneTiger]

He moved out some weeks ago. He announced that he was taking the dogs out. The door was locked as nobody was up so he climbed through a window to get in.

I don't think I can legally change the locks because I don't have an occupation order.

He is using the dogs as a stick to beat me with. He hasn't been in touch with the children.

Window alarms? Make his fucking ears bleed if he tries that again

And I would rehome the dogs personally they can't mean that much to him if he took on a place he can't have them to live in

I bought a security camera today. The DCs and I are baffled by this strange behaviour. I've also told him that it's far too hot to allow the dogs to run around.

Have you considered representing yourself at court to get a non mol/ occupation order? I was quoted up to 6k so decided to go for it myself and so far have been successful at restricting his access. Happy to answer questions via pm xx

It's on my mind. Thank you for reminding me.

If the police advised him to leave and they cannot do anything as he is co-owner, it sounds like their hands are tied.

So you need the court order.

If you can step up to represent yourself to get a non-mol order etc, then go for it. Not only do you get the appropriate protection of the law, it also sends a clear message to your ex that you will not be messed with or pushed around.

Are the dogs yours? Do you & children love the dogs dearly? If not, rehome them via Dogs Trust.

I have so much sympathy for you OP. When my XH moved out he refused to return his keys, saying that he could come whenever he wanted. Ownership and occupancy are two different things. When you have a tenant, you are still the owner of the place, but you can't walk in as it was your house!

Does he have any belongings left in the house? You need to communicate to him that he has to give you at least 24h notice for entry and arrange a convenient time with you. I think that the dogs are giving g home an excuse to access.

I am guessing that there are more than one access to the house, so the camera placing will not cover all angles. Is it a camera that will notify you if movement is detected? If you can afford it, I would place a few motion sensors strategically (top/bottom stairs), and either choose ones that notify you or ones that make plenty of noise to scare him off.

If he has another residence, he also needs to explain why he is accessing your house.

National centre for domestic violence will draw up the paperwork for a non molestation order for nothing. They post it to you to sign and to send to the court. Women’s Aid will support you in court. It is free in some areas and around fifty pounds in others.

For my dearest friend caught in maelstrom of DV with a pathetic excuse of a human being (judgemental, moi?), the NCDV helpline was pivotal in moving matters along. Well worth giving them a ring.

At times, when my DF could not speak of or process the trauma & impact of events, I could ring NCDV as her friend to ask advice. At times, her courage would rise & she’d take the phone from me to continue the call.

I knew so little about DV until a few years ago when this warped-minded bullying psychotic thug, aka That Evil Bastard, entered my DF’s life to wreak havoc & pain.

The impact of DV abusers presence & actions ripple out from the direct victims to close family/friends & onwards.

I am consistently impressed & touched by the understanding & support about DV here on MN.

Unless you (& children) love the dogs & must have them with you, please consider rehoming them into a settled secure home. The Dog’s Trust were helpful when an elderly relative’s dogs needed a loving home.

Of course, to be fair, first offering your ex the reasonable opportunity to have them himself or choose the new home. Put the offer in writing or send a solicitor’s letter. If you do this, you mean business, not an idle threat.

You need to break the ties that he uses to bind you up.
Also you can spend the saved monies on locks/legal fees etc to protect you & your children.

Although they are family dogs, I pay for them and do all the training. There is no need to re-home them and the dcs would be devastated.

The whole situation is mad and I have so many things to sort out my end until the house is sold. One of the children is with him at the moment.

You can get safety catches to out on windows so that they can be left open slightly. Have a look on amazon. I would also change the locks

I have just seen him and asked if we can re-negotiate if he wants to walk the dogs. He said 6am was too early for him. I said it was too hot any later for the dogs. I told him I found it frightening to be woken up so early in the morning with the dogs shouting their heads off and that it would piss off the neighbours. He responded that he was doing his best. He was starting to sound angry.

Tell him if it's not convenient for him to take the dogs at six you will manage it by yourself for the benefit of the dogs in this heatwave

WellDoneTiger please just get an occupation order and avoid anymore of this nonsense. You absolutely do not need a lawyer. I did this myself. It took one afternoon including the interview with the judge. There is no fee for this application no matter your income or savings.
Please PM me if you want to know how to do this.

He does have right of entry but as he no longer lives there you have a right to privacy and security

How does that work in practice Blush?

The police can help you but they can only do so when told. Log this with them as harrassment. He has right to enter his home but with adequate notice to you and through a door.

Harrassment will cover climbing through a window when you and DC are asleep. Its causing you distress and to fear for your and DC safety. You need to pick your words carefully when making the complaint.

It is vital you log it with them and keep doing so with every incident, no matter how small.

OP what do you think he is doing to do with the dogs?