Just so right but it can't last

[Itscrazy7716]

So I'm 41, have kids etc great ex partner who I was with for 23yrs, amical break up and we have shared custody so no problems on that side.
2 yrs ago I met someone who untill a few weeks ago was just a fwb, it worked for us we both have busy lives, he's in the forces so away a lot and I have work, kids etc

But now it's all just changed, he told me he loves me!!! Wants to be with me, I look at him, our history and there's no one I want more than him

Trouble is hes a lot younger and much as we've had and as much as I know he's everything I've ever wanted it just doesn't sit right for me

Why doesn't it sit right? Because of what others think? do what makes you happy x

Only get one go at life, be happy. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

You should go for it if you really want him! Age is nothing!

He'll keep you young (Joan Collins - "if he dies, he dies", Kylie, Katie Price). Life's too short...

Do you think he'll want kids and you're done with that?

Yes it's always what others think about me that seem to matter
I love my kids but they are older now and I really don't want to do it all again
My family are quite old fashioned so I guess that plays a part, I want to be who they want me to be tbh

I want to be who they want me to be tbh

I get that, I do. We're the same age, and I want to find somebody my family will like. But in my clearer moments, I know it is my life, and I only have one. Other people, family included, won't live my life, and what they want me to be will not necessarily make me happy.

So my advice to you would be to have the conversation with the younger man about whether he will want children since you're saying that isn't something you want to do again. Otherwise, grab this opportunity to be happy. It's a pretty great second chance - go for it! :-) Good luck.

You be who you want to be OP. Trying to be someone for others is always going to leave you feeling inadequate because there’s always going to be something that you don’t quite get right.
If you like this guy and he treats you well then go for it. Don’t live with what ifs and if onlys.

My family just always seem to make me feel bad about my life though!!
I know I didn't marry my ex but god we had nearly 20 years and we have 3 amazing kids that we now happily co parent
Compared to most I'm lucky and I guess now I've met him it just seems unreal.

My friend's keep saying just enjoy the here and now and I'm trying my hardest to, but I'm the only girl in my family and it's hard to break away from family expectations

You only live once, make the most of it/him.

How many years?

Does he want kids?

Fuck your family and their expectations. Sorry. Not sorry

Does he make you happy? Yes. Then do it. You'll regret it if you don't. It's about you, not what you want others to think about you.

If you are happy then your family will either also be happy or they will just have to deal with it.

Follow your wants and wishes - not the expectations of others

Him wanting kids would be a reason not to.

There could be reasons that you shouldn't be together. Valid reasons.

Your families opinion isn't one of them.

Surely there must be more to this?

I know my family would not like my Dp. We are still in the early days so, he hasn't met them. My mum's quite snobby. Dp has a manual job, has a dodgy past (from 20 years ago when he was late teens) and won't put on an act to impress her. He is, who he is. And that's it.

I don't care. If She can't see past her snobbiness and see how happy he makes me, then she can piss off.