Terrified of sex with someone new.

[Thefourmuskateers]

Relationship of 9 years ended and Ive not been with anyone since. Our sex life was dire, he was respectful and caring but very vanilla. The most I got except for that was the odd slap on the arse. He didn’t like blowjobs & I always felt crap at handjobs. When we met I already had low confidence sexually after sleeping about a bit at uni and being talked to shittily.

Im terrified of being with someone new. Im about 2st overweight, stretchmarks, a belly like a waterbed and I had a 3rd degree tear and 2 second degree tears so it’s all a bit messed up down there.
He’s 9 years older than me and an extremely private person about sex and stuff so I have no idea if he’s experienced or not but either way he has 9 years on me. I’m also a bit scared of what to do if he has any kinks I don’t feel comfortable with as I’ve never really experienced that. I think he thinks I’m sexually confident but I’m absolutely not.

Can anyone reassure me please? 😖

Grab it by the balls so to speak honestly, I too had only had one sexual partner, 12 years together, he knew every inch of me, it was familiar etc. New bloke was experienced, bloody fit as was his ex, I was not. That was 16 months ago and we're still mad about each other. Our sex life is great and has awakened things I never even knew I liked. If he wants to see you naked, gets excited about seeing you naked, by that point you've nothing to worry about. Everyone has their hang ups, the trick is to not draw too much attention to them

Enjoy it!! I was with the same guy for 17years. Even kissing a new bloke felt weird and wrong at first. But it's also exciting and amazing and their butterflies come back that I thought died at 17!!

Anyway sex with my new boyf was amazing. I didn't realise id been missing out so much.

Just take it slow. Even tell him if u want to that you want to take it slow. But I think you'll surprise yourself. I know I did!.

I know how you feel but I'm more like three stone overweight but been seeing this guy for a few weeks and honestly it's been bloody brilliant and a massive confidence boost also... don't over think it and go for it

I mean after being with the ex for 10
years... I thought that my sex life had died but turns out it's definitely hasn't!

Thanks so much. There’s still so much I haven’t tried 😳 my boyfriend before my STBXH was the person I lost my virginity to & we did a lot more exciting stuff but I never felt right with my STBXH. I always thought he’d think I was weird or disgusting. I guess a lot of the vanilla stuff was my fault as I had no confidence to do or say what I wanted.