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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just say thank you for the help?

3 replies

StrawberryDaiquiriPlease · 24/07/2018 17:12

Do you think this is normal?

DM had planned to do some DIY on a buy-to-let. She's at retirement age now and I work in a school so am on summer holiday. We discussed and I agreed to come and help her paint, garden etc for approx five days while DS is at his Dad's. I thought and said that it would be a satisfying task and enjoyable to be painting and chatting etc. It has been very hot, I've been working very hard in the heat, sweating, gardening, washing walls and windows, driving to B&Q etc. After a few days I needed to pop back home on the train, she says "I hope you found that useful and helpful." She's now making comments about when she dies she might leave the buy-to-let to me and making noises about what good experience it is for me about running a house. She made some other comments and I made a joke about how does she think I manage in my professional life/how about my home. Just wondering, WWYD or say? She's obviously very insecure and would like to validate the experience, she always does this asking if we had fun, was that good, asking DS what was your favourite thing about little weekends together etc. However, my feeling is, I offered to be helpful surely I should get thanks and leave it at that. What may or may not happen in future years is rather insulting as though that's the only reason I'm helping out. She's now saying I should leave my job and go into property development at which I spluttered that it sounds all very well if I should win the lottery!

OP posts:
Aussiebean · 24/07/2018 17:42

Do you think she could be projecting ?

RainySeptember · 24/07/2018 17:59

I think she had a great time doing the diy with you and wants to feel that you enjoyed it too, that you didn't do it out of duty, that she isn't a burden or a chore.

Saying you should do House renovation : she thought you were good at it. Perhaps a hint that you could do it together?

Saying she might leave the house to you : statement of fact.

I feel like you're overthinking some pretty normal comments.

StrawberryDaiquiriPlease · 24/07/2018 18:13

OK thanks. Smile

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