Feeling lost and stuck

[Noodlee]

So my partner and I broke up about a month ago but we still have to live together for now as we both have nowhere else to go. I broke things up as we are such different people. He wants us to be together soo bad and has made that very clear.

The reasons I broke up with him are:

1. I'm a family person and love my family being involved in Los life but he thinks people but in too much and is possessive over our lo. Like at my nephews birthday he felt like she was being passed around too much and then was in a strip and it just feels like he doesn't want people to have that intimate time with her. And he doesn't see when people do nice things for him which annoys me too. But he had a very difficult childhood and his family aren't close at all.

2. He can be so lazy and eats so much crap. He used to want to go do things now he is just happy to sit on the sofa doing fuck all eating crap and gaining weight. Then he complains about his weight.

But I still love him. I love him a lot and I've lost my best friend too! When I'm around him he makes me laugh and I miss him so much when I'm around him. I'm 20 and he is 21. I just feel so stuck. We used to be mad in Love and now it's just shit with everything going on

Your so young to be stuck in a relationship like this. Most threads like this are from women in their late 30s where the dh has completely given up.

When your this age it’s inevitable that one of you will mature quicker or want to go in another direction than the other and it’s understandable your feeling stuck.

Have you spoken to him about these issues? Has he tried to change ? Would he fix up if you moved out and shocked him?

I've read your other posts and you've made the right decision op

You can still love him, you can still have him as a friend - that is a good thing especially as you will be co-parenting your child.

At 20, you shouldn't be feeling like this. Life is too short to be miserable. Is he depressed? Binge eating and lack of motivation to do anything could mean that. Maybe with the right support, he could get better and be the partner you deserve.

Yes he wants to change for himself and for our family apparently. He needs to go to counselling as he has a lot to sort out and so do I. It's hard because with him we had that smitten in Love feeling and I want sensibility but I'm scared that I could get that sensibility with someone else but not have that smitten in Love feeling. We care about each other so so much but he needs to grow up and mature for him self and for our daughter

If he wants to change, then that's a step in the right direction. Encourage him to go to his GP and request a referral for counselling. Being smitten in love is a wonderful feeling but it doesn't last forever. You can still be in love/love each other though.

See he does but I don't want to change him and the family situation, I don't want him to change that and then resent me. It's so hard because I enjoy his company and he really makes me laugh but the issues were causing such a problem

Bump