Thoughts on honesty in OLD

[SandyY2K]

A friend (male) of mine is separated and getting divorced. He's venturing into the world of OLD.

He was thinking he won't mentioned having a DC straight away...possibly until a few dates in?

Also possibly saying he's divorced....even though he's not divorced yet. He's been seperated for over a year now and divorce is in motion.

I told him I think honesty up front is best and if a woman isn't interested because of his DC...that's better to know earlier. If a guy didn't tell me straight away...I'd not be too happy.

He has had a couple of mates (male) disagree with me. Saying no need to tell until you get to know them better and she doesnt need to know about the DC yet.

What are your thoughts?

Would you like to know if a man had DC straight away?

Would you be annoyed or upset if this was withheld till a few dates in?

I use OLD and my personal preference is to know upfront about kids , I wouldn’t be impressed if he waited until date 3 / 4 to be told such important information.

I don’t have children yet and very much want my first child to be their first child also. I have a few reasons for this (which I won’t bother to go into) but yes honesty is absolutely the best policy .

I went on 5 dates a slept with a guy (who then ghosted me) who I later found out was separated, and it really upset me. It might be irrational but I really felt like I’d been tricked. We’d had conversations about weddings (not in relation to us, just about weddings we’d been to recently!) and not once did he mention that he himself had had a wedding once! He even once asked me which hand men wear wedding rings on because he could never remember, which he must have known because he’d bloody well been wearing one until recently!

Rightly or wrongly, some women will have strong feelings about dating a man who is still married. And that sucks for him, but it still isn’t his choice to make for them. And as others have said, if he lies then he runs the risk of meeting someone great, only to lose her when she gets upset at being lied to. And that could be someone who would otherwise have been totally fine with it!

If he doesn’t want to put it on his profile then I think he should at least mention it early on while chatting, before meeting in person.

I cant profess to know much about OLD but....Surely he's not interested in meeting these women who don't want to date someone with children? What would be the point in that? Just be honest - if you're looking for someone compatible with you, you must display the real you! Therwose you'll end up with someone more compatible with the fake "you" in your profile?!

What a way to start a potential relationship by being dishonest. Better to be honest upfront.

I online dated - here’s things that men ‘forgot’ to mention (all of which were deal breakers to me):

• He was married (told me he was single)
• He was actually still married (told me he was divorced)
• Had kids. Why any man would lie about having children is beyond me. Are you embarrassed about your own children?
• Told me he was 41, my 70 year old dad looked younger
• Had 5 kids to 5 different women (he forgot to mention that)

Your friend sounds dishonest.

I think he should be honest, that doesn't mean him telling the other person everything on the first date. He may never see her again! Get to three dates with before soul bearing but, whatever comes up that leads to questions., be honest. It really is the best policy.