It’s over now

[Sohardtochooseausername]

I’ve been on here before and got cross when everyone said LTB. Well, you were all right. I confronted my partner about my suspicions he was cheating on me and he said he was. I feel so relieved. No more lies.

He’s on the couch and I’m saying he’s to be out by the end of the week. He’s saying he hasn’t prepared anything, has no spare cash for leaving me or renting a second place, nothing.

Our lovely DD is asleep unaware of all this.

How do we break up well, so she doesn’t suffer more than she has to?

How old is your DD?

Also sorry to hear this is how your situation has ended, and wishing you much strength in the coming time

Thanks - she’s nearly 6

He’s had 2 affairs.

Can't he go to the OW?

He can go & stay at his parents, family or OW place?

Sending u hugs...

The OW is married, with little kids...

I don’t think he will want to impose on his friends and he won’t want his mother to get angry with him...

I’m going to give him a deadline to get out, he can damn well impose on someone and explain why I’m kicking him out.

I do think he’s got a mental health problem/commitment issues/no empathy or foresight.

The Relate counsellor asked me what was in this relationship for me. I couldn’t actually answer that question.

I feel scared about what’s to come but I’m also excited to be free from him.

Well done OP. Your new life starts now. Your daughter will be fine as long as she sees you treat each other with respect.

He should have thought about that before sticking his bits in somebody else’s spouse. Get rid. Tell him to pack his bags and get to a hotel or wherever until he’s sorted out what he’s doing next. Oh and get yourself to a solicitor pronto xxx

Well done for being strong. Stick to your guns. Arrange contact times/days for him to take your dd out. And agree money. Show him you mean business
Don't get drawn into chit chat. Keep it factual
As for your dd. Explain that mummy and daddy don't love each other anymore and daddy is going to live somewhere else. You both love her lots and she will see daddy on x.

My six year old just rolled with it. Even though ex moved straight in with ow and she sleeps on the floor next to them. She has just excepted it. Hope it goes smoothly for you. Lots of reassurance.

Well done OP no more suspiciousions, lies or uncertainty for you.

Stick to your deadlines, he can bloody well impose on someone else. So what if his Mum will be annoyed, let her, this is his mess after all.

I might be tempted to use the OW as leverage to get him out if he starts to stall in moving. Tell him you’ll tell her husband if he doesn’t get out, you may have no intention of telling him but it might be the push he needs.

Also see a solicitor and find out where you stand legally. Use the csa calculator to work out how much he owes you per month and agree times he will see the dc. Start on what suits you and work from there.

With regards to your dc, you don’t need to tell them the ins and outs of what happened. My dc were pretty ok with it all and just got on with it.

he won’t want his mother to get angry with him...

Poor diddums. FFS. This is not your problem! Tell his mother what's happened and get shot of him.