Am I wrong for being upset ?

[centianian]

I left my partner 5 months ago
He was bad tempered, stressed, work a holic and after 3 years enough was enough

I got my own place for me and lo (he's not her father) have a good relationship with her dad so that's all good - after a month he begged me back and I took him back

One of the main reasons I left ( main one was his moodiness)
He was in a lot of debt which I knew
He kept getting himself into more by doing risky business deals
And the last one broke us
He owes me money and I had enough

Anyway my question
Am I right to say I'm done now and walk away and move on or am I being too harsh ?

We've been trying again and it's been ok...I can see he still have his short fuse
That aside, he has now gone into business with someone he met last year.....he has only told me little bits but yesterday he tells me he's opened a joint bank account with his guy
He refuses to go get a paid job he just does agency work
Which don't get me wrong pays ok but it's so he can get the business up and running and work when he wants with the agency

Today I lost it really and said I've had enough
I'm sitting here alone and wondering if I've been too harsh?

He's trying to better himself I know but as he has a history of making very bad decisions I don't think this is a good idea
He's in debt and I have some of how debt and although he says he's only going to do the work in his days off, that's when he should be resting / having family time with us?

Thoughts appreciated, positive or negative

X

Meant to say a paye job not paid job
He does get paid
But the work isn't secure and stable
Two words he hates me using x

I think I would walk away! He sounds like he's a cocklodger.

walk away.

While I have sympathy with someone who for example ran a business that went under and they ended up in debt, I have no sympathy for a serial debtor.

It shows a massive lack of responsibility for himself, and lack of respect for those he has borrowed money from.

Look at it like this - if I borrowed money from you and lost it in a failed business venture, I would work my socks off to pay that money back.
If I don't do that and just shrug my shoulders, I am saying YOU can work to pay for MY recklessness and MY mistakes.

Money will forever be an issue between you, and you won't be able to trust him not to go behind your back and do something stupid with money

Yeah exactly
He's 50k in debt, nothing to show sadly and is 40. I've tried to support him but he made us lose a house so there's so much hurt there and he's cost me a huge amount of time and tears
I am walking away...I just needed to cement it
Sadly I have no one to talk to as everyone has disowned him in my family as they have seen what he has done
I'm a mug I know
But I loved him and believed he would change z

Christ no, £50K in debt and a moody git?

50K, still not paying off, still starting new ventures with other peoples money, you've lost a house, your family have cut you off because of him,

don't walk away, run as fats as you can, and make sure he can't get any more of your money.

Run and don’t let him have any more of your money. He is responsible for his debts not you.

Please dont lend him any more money. It would be a good idea to right off anything you have lent him because any hope of getting it back will just keep you hooked in.

I won't be lending anymore
To be honest I haven't it's on my credit card and I did a balance transfer for him as I have 0% and he doesn't and when we were sill together
It sounds awful doesn't it?
He has started this new business thinking it will make a load of money
But he's done this too many times
One mistake cost him 30k before he met me then maxed out credit cards doing about 5 other ones since I've known him
Saying ' this one will work '
He's blinded
I thought this time he could see what he has done and was doing to fix it but it's like a problem
Similar to gambling in my eyes
I believe he actually has a problem
It's sad I feel x

But as others have said
My happiness is at jeopardy
So I have to walk away
I am heartbroken and I know I shouldn't feel any guilt but I do
I really really do x

Yes, he does sound like he has a gambler's eternal over-optimism and inability to see when odds are against him. I couldn't live with someone like that and you shouldn't have to.

It's been exhausting
He's had far too many chances and I feel like i have another child sometimes
He doesn't take care of my well being or emotionally want to look after me, I even took him back after we lost our house - the house we were going to buy not our home just to clarify but still
I need to move on I know I do
It's been so draining and I just don't feel like I'm happy
I'm finding it hard to even know where to start or what to do now x

He's a lost cause and will drag you down financially time and time again. Seriously, starting umpteen businesses using credit card debt - he's not an entrepreneur, he's a gambler. He makes you miserable. Why exactly are you with him?

That's true
I'm not with him, I left him a few months ago
I was weak and let him back in when he begs me back crying saying he wants to change
Time has realised he doesn't want to
He just wants his cake and wants to eat it
I'm completely done
I've blocked him even
Even though it hurts x

Ok so youve transfered some of his credit card debt onto a credit card in your name? Is that right?

Yes and he makes the monthly payments, we split 5 months ago and to be fair he is paying it still since we split
Not that I want to but I can afford to pay it off should he not pay me which now he probably won't now
But to be honest I don't care
I just want a clean break
If he does great if he doesn't lesson learned x

You’re going to be liable for those debts, if they are in your name

I know i am x

That's why I said if he pays me still great if he doesn't I don't care
Turning the clock back I still would have done it
We were together, in the process of buying a house and I was trying to help get him sorted and debt free
Anyway least of my problems x

God, keep away from this man! He has no money sense whatsoever and has a gambler's attitude to it, too.

Doesn't he just....I didn't see it like that until recently
Think I was just in a bubble x

Its normal to feel sad op, sounds like youve made up your mind.

Thank you everyone
Woke up feeling like I'm hung over where I cried so much I think
Onwards and upwards now x

He's a liability to you. Cut him loose.

I agree
I have tried to move one before
Even resulting to moving out
But like my mum said I took him back so he didn't need to change
Then even since he's reverted back to old ways even now acting like he hasn't done anything! Which I think is a joke
Talking to him the last few days he's so pent up with anger
He is a lost cause x