Does your DP/DH donate sperm?

[FredsMum82]

Hello all. Not sure if this is the right board or not!
I've been with my DP for 7 months (1 1/2 as FWB). When we first started seeing each other he told me that he had in the past few months donated his sperm. I was fine with that. When we got together properly I told him I didn't mind him still doing it but I wanted to know when he was off to do it! It turns out he went and saw a lady 2 or 3 times without telling me! When I confronted him about it he was very apologetic and said he didn't know how to tell me that he was off to see her. He has now promised to tell me when he's off for a visit - in fact he's off to see her this week. My problem is I can't stop thinking about the fact he lied to me. Do you think I should be worried?
Thanks for reading.

Sorry? But he went and had sex with someone else to "donate sperm"??

If so then you are being naive I am afraid. If he was donating sperm in a medical sense (such as when women donate their eggs) then it would NOT involve having sex!

How exactly is he donating it? Is this lady a doctor at a clinic?

Yanbu

Sorry, didn't explain - they don't have sex, he gives it to her in a pot and she self inseminates.

I watched a programme on this recently - it was beyond grim to be honest 🤮
If he wants to donate to help childless people conceive etc why can he not go to a proper clinic where he can be health screened?

I'd be more concerned about the possible repercussions of not doing it through a regulated medical centre!

He knows her then? This sounds dodgy tbh. Why can't he go to a proper clinic if he wants to donate sperm? How involved would he be in any future child's life?

Well, that's not exactly donating sperm anonymously.

Why is he doing this? Is this a friend of his? Will he take responsibility for any child that comes of this?

How involved would he be in any future child's life? By paying for it, I guess.

That’s not donating sperm

So he's going to have kids with other women and it's done privately so they could all take him to court for maintenance? Odd and no my DH has never donated sperm :/

I guess he will be paying for it
Are you sure about this relationship op?

Childless couples/single ladies yes, it's one of those ones where none of them have wanted to go via a clinic! The lady at present is married but her DH is infertile. The 2 ladies before are both gay and he has nothing to do with either child - just a picture at birth. He has been tested in the past for STI's when he first started doing it which came back ok. I just wanted to hear others opinions!

No, no and thrice no.
Sperm donations are strictly regulated.
Also there is a cap as to how many babies can be “produced”(?) by one donor.
This is dodgy as fuck

Yuck, sorry. He should be going through a clinic.

I know somebody who has done this but it was with full knowledge of his partner. Different situation to yours in that they needed help conceiving so wanted to pay it forward. If all the checks etc are done properly AND he doesn't donate too many times/in the same area then great. The hiding it from you however is a massive no no imo. If he can't be upfront with you about it, it suggests something is off to me.

Never in a million years. Your partner could be father to kids all over the place - I think nowadays grown children are allowed to trace biological fathers.

It's a revolting thing to do when you consider the implications.

The actual process of donating sperm would not bother me.

Its the lying and how he went about it that would

Oldraver - it doesn't really bother me either providing they're not having sex! He's fathered 2 children in 2 different counties so far this is his 3rd and only one since being with me.

No chance. Bet 100quid hes shagging her

Most men donate it twice a day

I don’t believe him OP

So your dp goes round giving women pots of his sperm? I mean wtf we have clinics set up for this for reasons. I would never in a million years want dh to do this but if he genuinely wanted to help by donating sperm I would expect it to be via a registered clinic, pretty grim otherwise tbh.

Sounds to me like his probably shagging her tbh, I mean why not have your cake and eat it? He sneaked off 2/3 times to give another woman some sperm, and didn’t tell you. Let’s face it he probably snagged her

I saw some messages between them which is how I found out he'd been to see her without telling me! They aren't having sex that's for sure and her husband is there when my DP is. I know I can't be certain about the other 2 but he has shown me the ladies in question and the 2 pics he has plus a few messages that I scrolled through (he let me read them) to prove to me they were gay I guess and not some fling/shag!?

He does realise that doing it this way means he is legally liable to pay maintenance and the mothers could, if they wanted to chase him.Its has happened, lesbian couple, split up mother was skint to chased the sperm donor for maintenance. He is an idiot for doing this way.

You are aware that each and every one of these women would be entitled to pursue him for child support? Run run as fast as you can.