I feel so hurt

[BlindedByCharm]

Long story short bf has children and I do not so totally appreciate they come first in his life. But it's getting to the point where I barely see him. I asked for us to have a date night this week but he's already starting with the we will see. I always prioritise him but I'm really starting to feel like what's the point. If I didn't want him as much I'd walk away but unfortunately I've fallen hard!

I've dated men with children before but never where their mother only has them twice per week. I'm so sad about it all and my friends just say leave him but I don't want to

Are you the same person who posted about the wedding?

If you feel hurt how do you think his children would feel? Children always come first, you have to start totally appreciating that or you'll be miserable and at loggerheads for the rest of your life.

Tbh I don't think it matters how hard you've fallen, I think it's better for everyone if you walk away.

How long have you been together and have you met his children?

Find a guy without kids, because this isn't going to change. Neither of you are wrong btw.

@peekyboo no that's not me

@AnneLovesGilbert about 9 months and haven't met the children yet as their mother is against our relationship and that's why he has them more and more as she is trying to stop it

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks I know children come first that's what I said initially

This won’t end well OP. Doesn’t matter what you say you’ll get bashed my certain posters on here

I have no children. The reasons you just posted are one of many as to why I couldn’t date anyone with kids (if I was single).
I’m still selfish, I don’t want to share my DP with someone else’s kids. Obviously if we had our own it’d be different and it’d be the same for you two.

But he will always choose them over you. You could have the nicest date planned but having his kids will still be top choice. If you can’t deal with that (which I couldn’t either) then perhaps you two aren’t compatible

However if at 9 months he is serious about you then he needs to tell his ex to get a grip and that you WILL be meeting the kids. She can’t stop him.

Have you and your partner discussed what you both want our of the relationship? I think that is the first step as if he wants to build a future with you then it opens up the opportunity to discuss meeting his children and being together in their presence. You also need to assess before that conversation whether you are willing/ready to take on that kind of responsibility and are capable of being supportive of his responsibility as a father.

The fact your partner is such a devoted father is an incredibly admirable thing, but a calm and considered conversation is definately needed if you are hoping for any future with him. His partner can't stop you from seeing his children but she can put terrible pressure on your relationship and make things very very stressful. Unless you are both ready for that and are sure you want a future together then inviting that into your life isnt worth it.

If I didn't want him as much I'd walk away but unfortunately I've fallen hard!

my friends just say leave him but I don't want to

Not quite sure what you're asking, because basically all you're going to get is the same advice your friends have given you but which you've said twice in your OP you don't want to.

I'm afraid you only have two options.

1. Put up with it and become increasingly resentful and come back here every few weeks moaning about and being told to break it off
2. Break it off

Sorry, there is no third option. Everyone recommends option 2).