Living abroad with husband, going back for visit

[mariainpink]

Hi everyone.
I currently live abroad with my husband. We have been abroad the same amount of time as married, 3 years. Since moving abroad we have been able to go back home at least 2 times per year. It is always very complicated trying to meet everyone and spending time with my family and his family.
We are planning on going back home for 3 weeks and my husbands birthday is during our time back home. Him and his friends used to have a guys night every Thursday, they got together for a drink(at someone place, never a bar or club) and talk about football, politics and what not. His birthday is landing on a Thursday and he told me he wanted to spend his birthday with his friends. I felt very hurt by his comment, I thought birthdays are meant to be spent with your loved ones and family. Last year none of those friends remembered his birthday and he still wants to go to boys night. Am I being unreasonable?
He doesn't have many friends where we currently live, so I supposed he need guys time, but still I can't help but feel left behind.
Am I overreacting?

Yes. You live abroad. His time with friends back in UK is limited. Men don't tend to remember from afar/send stuff to each other in the same way women may, but that's no reflection on the friendships. Let him have this time with friends and plan a belated family celebration once you are back home.

I live abroad with my husband too but in his country so when we go back to my home country I do look forward to seeing my friends and spending time with them. The first few times I felt guilty about going out and leaving him with my family but he completely understands I miss my social circle and is happy for me to go out while he visits his own friends or joins my dad at the pub! I think with it being your DH’s birthday I can understand your frustration but in the long run does it really matter? Perhaps you two can have an evening out on Friday or Saturday instead? Also if his friends are used to going out on Thursday it may be more difficult to arrange something with them on another day due to other commitments.

I think you need to let this pass, send him off on his boys night out and have a birthday dinner with family/friends over the weekend. It’s one night and unless it’s a landmark birthday (his 40/50th etc) it’s really not a huge deal is it?