My DS13 went to his dads yesterday afternoon (Sat) to stay over. He’d slept in until 3pm as had been at a sleepover on the Thu night and hadn’t really slept.
He said today that his dad told him to get out in the fresh air, which he didn’t feel like doing, and his friends weren’t going out. His dad said “so if you told your pals that you had to go out and find something to do today, they’d just say no, they weren’t coming out with you?” DS said yeah, probably, and ex proceeded to tell him he had “crap” pals then. I thought that was pretty low.
He’s also got his knickers in a twist just now about how much x box DS plays and told him he wasn’t to go in yesterday as he assumed he’d been on it all night at the sleepover. DS said it was only about half an hour, then they listened to music, etc. Ex told him he was going to ask the mum and if DS was lying, he’d be grounded. It seems he then pretended to call her from another room. But then a while later told DS she hadn’t messaged him back so DS could play Xbox til 8pm.
I find this all a bit OTT. DS will happily play Xbox all day, but he also goes out plenty, and is in a football team which trains twice a week with games on Saturday. He’s also in a Friday night club, although these are on holiday just now. I’m more laid back as I just see it as DS is on holiday just now, he’s a good kid, pretty much does what I tell him and has plenty of friends and social life.
DS was there a few extra days last week and after that he didn’t want to go this weekend, this was after more arguments about long lies and x box, although he also was out playing football, etc. in between. He feels his dad is just having a go quite a lot, but I know its not my place to get involved in his rules.
Ex also has a slightly older dc, but she rarely stays with him anymore. DS is normally there 2/3 night week. His dad has always been very involved and we agree on most things and discuss bigger issues, like school issues, new situations, etc. So what do I do when DS is relaying these exchanges, or clearly isn’t looking forward to staying? So far I’ve just been saying “dads house, dads rules”? But Ex is also expecting a baby this year, which DS is a bit hesitant about. I feel like ex is in danger of pushing him away at a crucial time?
Thanks.