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Original poster

Planning to leave OH what to do with cats?

21 replies

NotSoThinLizzy · 22/07/2018 20:08

So planning on leaving for various reasons it's a 10 year relationship with two kids 9years and one 10 months.

Can I realistically ask him to take the cats when he moves out? There's two and well behaved. I'm allergic and stubborn about finding them a new home as my DD would be heart broken if she never sees them again.

OP posts:
Hassled · 22/07/2018 20:12

I don't really understand - you're allergic but presumably live OK with the cats now? Do they need to go when he does?
You could ask him to take them (most cats will adapt to a new home quite quickly) but presumably he'll be going into rented at least to start with, and the majority of landlords don't allow pets.

Weejo39 · 22/07/2018 20:12

Does your DH even know your plans... ? the cats might be the least of your worries...
Seriously though, if your living with them now can't you keep them in your plan to stay with you. If he insists on having them then great! Wink

Weejo39 · 22/07/2018 20:14

Oops xposted. My sentiments though.

smurfy2015 · 22/07/2018 20:17

No idea to be honest on would he keep the cats. Seeing as you have lived with them now would the possibility of having them fostered and then back with you whenever and whereever you are settled and are safe.

This info is taken from www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/useful-links/#1448370983927-6aea0189-3c48

If you go down the page there is a link for Pet Fostering if that is any help

Hugs and I hope you can escape the relationship and be safe and happy for your future

smurfy2015 · 22/07/2018 20:18

The foster home would be able to link back photos and updates on them to the children and so while not maybe seeing them in person / cat they would still have a link to them

Sisterlove · 22/07/2018 20:34

I'm also confused about you being allergic, but living with them now.

You can ask him to take them, but be aware and prepared for him to say no.

Original poster
NotSoThinLizzy · 22/07/2018 20:40

I have to take allergy tablets everyday prescriped by doc. They make me sleepy while I have other people around I don't mind. As they can watch the kids if I need a quick 20 mins. When I'm by self I don't want to take them 😊

OP posts:
Hassled · 22/07/2018 20:44

There are plenty of non-drowsy anti-histamines out there which are very effective (DH is allergic to cats, we have cats) - maybe have a chat with your GP or even the pharmacist.

HoleyCoMoley · 22/07/2018 20:50

Are you both moving somewhere new, he may not find somewhere that allows cats or be at home enough to car3 for,them properly. Any grandpar3nts or friends who would like to take them.

Original poster
NotSoThinLizzy · 22/07/2018 20:54

Family and friends won't take them as they have other pets. OH will be moving into his friends flat that allow pets.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 22/07/2018 20:57

You're leaving? Are the cats his?
Leave the cats with him.
If you as a couple decided to take them on then I can't see why you would rehome them. You won't be more allergic because he's left.

Original poster
NotSoThinLizzy · 22/07/2018 20:59

Of course I won't be more allergic but the only allergy tablets that work make me sleepy when I'm by my self I don't want to fall asleep watching a 10 months old baby.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 22/07/2018 21:00

So your soon to be ex is there at all times at the moment when you're with the 10 month old?
Or do you think of the cats as his and are just looking for an excuse to dump them at the same time you dump him?
When you take a pet on it is for life. There are very few reasons to rehome.

Original poster
NotSoThinLizzy · 22/07/2018 21:08

Yep he is. And they are as much mine as they are his. I don't want to rehome them to strangers or a shelter as DD will never see them again.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 22/07/2018 21:09

So don't rehome then. I can't see why you would. It's going to be hard enough on DD if you're splitting up.
Animals are part of the family.

Original poster
NotSoThinLizzy · 22/07/2018 21:30

In a perfect world I wouldn't but I'm not going to beat a dead horse I cannot be on the meds with a baby by my self 😊

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 22/07/2018 21:41

So your soon to be ex is always around when you're looking after the baby at the moment?
You've tried all other medication?
Petal cleanse?
Cats shut out of bedroom?
Damp dusting and hoovering regularly?
Reducing soft surfaces. Hard flooring not carpet?

Original poster
NotSoThinLizzy · 22/07/2018 21:42

Yeah we don't allow the cats to be in bedrooms or sofa. We have carpets just now.

OP posts:
HoleyCoMoley · 22/07/2018 21:49

Has his friend agreed to taking the cats, he won't be staying there forever so what will he do then. Poor cats.

Shmithecat · 22/07/2018 21:52

There are plenty of options for non drowsy antihistamines. Something containing cetirizine, loratadine or fexofenadine. That should solve the problem.

Original poster
NotSoThinLizzy · 22/07/2018 22:52

Ok thanks everyone for your opinions 😊

OP posts:
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