Need advice

[Lifefor2]

Hi guys, I'm new to this site but was wondering if I could get a bit of advice.
I've been with my partner for almost 5 years, and during that time my partner has never once wanted to attend a family function of any kind (there's been lots of them, he's got a large extended family), but we was recently invited to a wedding, the wedding is a very long drive and we'd need to stay nearby for a couple of days. I was unsure I wanted to go due to distance and I find staying in hotels nerve-wracking and I get anxious. Anyway, we recently discovered we are pregnant, and now I'm even more anxious due to morning sickness and have said I don't think I'll be comfortable going.
He desperately wants to go and is fully prepared to go without me, I don't understand why after almost 5 years of not attending any family functions, he now wants to go, I'm worried there is going to be someone else there that he's wanting to see (another woman) or that he's hoping to meet someone else (the hotel is already booked in just his name), I asked him about it and all he says is he really wants to go. Am I overthinking things and worrying unnecessarily, or is there a genuine concern there?

As you were invited and you are choosing not to go, I can't really made the leap to him wanting to meet up with another woman. He wanted you to go, you choose not to. A family wedding would be the worse place to have an illicit meet up, not exactly somewhere you could keep a secret meeting secret. Nosy aunties, gossiping cousins.
Why has he not been going to other family events since you got together? Did he go to them before you came on the scene? Perhaps he has been wanting to go but didn't because of your anxiety and suspicions. Unless their is a back story of cheating, I feel this is an issue you need to get help for. You seem to be very anxious and finding a way to overcome this is a good idea before your baby arrives.

To answer your last sentence, yes, yes and no. Maybe the pregnancy is making you extra anxious, but I would say; try to conquer your worry about the hotel, go with your partner and enjoy being looked after for a couple of days. Any wedding benefits from the old, the middle aged, the young and the unborn being present.

I don't think that there is any evidence that he's a cheat or a would-be cheat.

However, you probably need to see the GP about your anxiety if you haven't already. For the sake of your family life.

Maybe the idea of having a baby has made him want to reconnect with his family?

Unless there is a huge backstory about his cheating, you are being over anxious.

What Patricia said with bells on. Big shiny ones.

He has 3 children from a previous relationship - he now has no contact with them at all. The wedding invite arrived well before we found out we was pregnant. Towards the end of his previous relationship, he cheated. I have this niggling doubt in my mind that there is someone he really wants to see at this wedding, since he's never bothered with prior family occasions (lots of different people will be there that I've never met). I barely know his family and have only met them a handful of times (including his parents, siblings etc). They are all very secretive by nature - including my partner. He certainly doesn't like me looking at his phone at all. I miscarried our first child, to which he was relieved. I had an abortion with our second child because neither of us were ready and I'm really having doubts if this is right, I'm starting to feel so lost.

I'm saying this very gently but a man who has no contact at all with his children is not likely to be the greatest father to your child. He was relieved you had miscarried? You aborted the next? Why would you think he's suddenly going to be excited dad-to-be of the year.

If I were you I'd be planning on having this baby on my own.

The wedding is a red herring in all of this mess.

And he has form for cheating. Raise your bar op. You deserve someone so much better than this.

Think very carefully about having a child with this man. You are likely to find yourself bringing it up all alone anyway from his past history.

This has red flag all over it

Just seen the update. He doesn't sound like much of a catch OP. Be cautious, think hard about what you want. The wedding is the least of your worries. Sorry.