Hi All
Backstory: been seeing a guy for about 6 months now.
Going quite well but I am a very anxious person (have anxiety and depression and OCD) and have had bad relationships in the past.
Seems all loving and caring and attracted to each other, all good in that department BUT we are basically just FWB although have agreed exclusivity and support each other in work/ day to day stuff..we are not officially "in a relationship"...I think this is causing me anxiety to be honest.
Anyway, I've turned into some kind of stalker this past week! I just felt a bit lost and wondered what he really thought of me so I've done a post search on his Facebook (we're not friends on there so it only brought up anything that happened to be public), saw some things he's selling on sites, basic stuff like that..but then I see he is on some kind of over 18 group and it's full of quite rude memes and rather horrible videos..not to my taste but some are quite funny.
I've noticed that he seems to be commenting an awful lot to a girl on there (though tbf she is the admin on it and seems to flirt and comment with all the men on there) and he does have banter with other men and women in there too.
But she is the one posting virtually everything (she is the admin) and he seems to be having a laugh/flirting with her. Is he trying to impress her? Are they having secret conversations? Is he going to leave me for her or cheat? It doesn't seem like she's interested in him though I must admit. Her responses seem quite vague and she puts even more risqué responses to the other men.
So is this just purely banter and me being a weird stalker and paranoid?
I just don't like that he seems to have commented on there but not text me a good morning or anything. It's like I'm not on his mind..but I also know that he doesn't have any obligation to text me and I am being far too needy to expect it!!
Should I just let it over my head and be more confident in myself or should I be worried?
I mean he has been in touch with me and everything as normal.
I just sound like a nutter but I can't help feeling so insecure.
Is it normal for men to have this kind of banter going on?
We are not in a relationship by choice, we both agreed to this and both have our reasons...but even if we were I couldn't stop him from cheating if he was going to. I guess I just need more confidence.
It's so hard when you've been hurt in the past though isn't it.
Basically it's my lack of trust isn't it?? Deep down I know this, but how am I supposed to move forward with anyone if I can't work on this...it seems no matter who I'm with I will always be suspicious. Doesn't help that my father was a serial womaniser and had many many affairs.
Should I just carry on but have my guard up and focus on how he treats me? For all I know he could be texting/facebooking whatever to tons of people and I wouldn't have a clue..this is just what I have happened to see/find.
Any Thoughts? Please be honest but kind. Thank you.