Levels of anger

[behindcloseddoors]

NC for this. Just wondering peoples opinions on what levels of anger are normal or not because I'm made to feel like I'm strange for feeling this is unacceptable.

I feel like I'm on egg shells most times especially if he's in a mood. If I say something very normal in my normal tone of voice like 'don't do that' or 'what's wrong with you' when he's throwing his weight around his responses are along the lines of:

What the fuck are you on about you fucking freak. You think you're fucking perfect you do you bastard. Think I'm not going to say anything to you you cunt.

You get the feel of it I'm sure. I'm not a sweary person so I'm not sure if it's just how some people are but I think especially when there's kids around and the tone of his voice is loud, angry and aggressive surely I'm not a 'freak' for thinking it isn't normal.

It’s not normal

My ex used to be like that and after a while you forget what’s acceptable because you’re so busy trying not to provoke another outburst. It was sapping the life out of me.

You know it’s not okay and it’s a horrible environment for children to grow up in. Your home should be a sanctuary, not a war zone.

Ask yourself: would you speak to someone you love like that? Your parents / child(ren) / a close friend?

As Anne said above, this is not normal. No one deserves to be spoken to like that.

Please have a read through of the abuser profiles by Lundy Bancroft - you may recognise your partner as one (or more).

That's how I feel. As though I'm constantly wondering if I say this how will he react etc. If I don't answer his call I'll get called loads of swear words. He says he's naturally just a loud person but it's more than that.

You must know it's abusive. I wouldn't put up with any DP speaking to me like that.