can anybody help me know what to do

[atthebrink]

My DH of 10 years gets in my face and swears at me and says he will hit me and grabs me by my arm really hard. He scares me. I know he is close to hitting me although he hasn't so far. it's getting worse and worse. he does it in front of the kids.
it's over little arguments like today it was because he decided to go to football after inviting his niece to stay over when he knows I'm already finding it hard to cope with our own little DC so I got angry at him for leaving me with 3.
I self harm everytime this happens. He says he will hit me in front in the kids and he doesn't care. he also drove into a post eith all of us in the car.
what do I do? I have no money and no job. I'm just waiting for the day when he finally hits me really. I know it's coming

Call women's aid for advice

Leave and take your children. Present as homeless to the local authority anywhere with your children.

He stabbed himself in the stomach last time I tried to leave.He will harm himself.

I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm well educated, come from a food family who taught me how to be a strong woman, how am I in this situation?

Let him. His violence towards himself is not your responsibility and not your fault.

You need to choose you.
One of you will get hurt.

Make sure it isn't you - if you are murdered you leave your dc without a dm.
No dc should have to live like yours are.
If they tell a teacher then ss could take them away!!
Fact.

So if you leave him, he will harm himself, but if you stay he will hurt you, you have to leave him, this will not get better. I lived like this for far too long, it got worse and worse.

can i log these incidences with anyone? so that they know it's happened in the past?
In public he's so helpful nd friendly to everyone, everybody loves him, whereas im an introvert, I'm scare no one will believe me. Even my own mother never believes me when I tell her abiut arguments.

People will beleive you; call women’s aid and get out.

I'm no Angel, i shout I argue, he's says I've pushed him to this point. He scares me so much when he gets this way my heart starts pounding and I cant breathe. he grabbed my jaw a year ago really hard and wouldn't let go and to this day it still clicks when I eat. he calmed down for a while but now it's worse.

You may have been a strong woman, you are no longer feeling strong as it sounds like he controls you and isn’t afraid to use domestic violence. You need to get away from this man.

He only self harms so you will
Stay.

Ring Womans Aid & get out.

Forget telling your DM, tell Womans Aid and the police and your DDs school op!
Why are you worried about him hurting himself? forget him, you need to be keeping yourself safe for your DD don't leave her alone!

Do as another poster has said, leave with DCs and go to your local council office as homeless due to DV...NOW...so sorry op but you have no choice, what if he decides to hurt your children instead of you? Don't for one minute think he won't.....this is escalating fast you need to go.

This sounds awful. You're waiting for the day he actually hits you. What if that is actually the day he kills you?

I sometimes think it would be better if he killed me.
I can't go now my D.C. are asleep my niece is here. I would have to wait till morning

Are you ok OP?

Are you taking your niece home today? Can you leave then? Is she your sibling's child or your SIL/BIL's? Can you get help from them?

Your mum not believing you doesn't mean that no one will. Your mum should believe you. I like my daughter's boyfriend. He seems like a great chap. If my daughter told me that things between them weren't as they appeared from the outside, I would believe her like a shot. I would want to help her. Same for any of my relatives or friends.

Its very regular for abusive men to threaten to harm themselves when they see a woman leave. Thats his problem and even if he kills himself that will not be your fault. Please dont tell him you are leaving . Just make a plan and go. Remember women leave men every day for all sorts of reasons and your reason for leaving is perfectly ok as he is a danger to you and your children. Please get help but do not discuss this with him. That is so important as he could badly harm you to stop you. You will be believed as womens aid meet these situations everyday and they are familiar with the threats .

Please update when you can op we are all worried about you, so hope you are OK this morning.

Niece is BILs child, they wouldn't help, they very much stick together as a family and he isn't fond of me as it is.
I am ok. I will be dropping niece off later and then deciding what to do.
H is not talking to me anyway and will probably go out soon.
What do i take with me?

Passport yours and DDs, birth certificates, any other important documents, Bank documents/ any cash.
Precious keepsake from birth of DCs, special toys/ momentos.
Computer /Ipad /phone.
Most practical clothes, inc winter coats and shoes.

Please go op and keep posting, good luck..

Are you ok? You need the police, right now.