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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

His ex is stalking

15 replies

Sarah1087 · 21/07/2018 18:21

Me and fiancé have been together nearly 3 years!!

I’m currently pregnant 10 days over due!

Cut a long story short his ex has been a nutcase since we got together she will go quiet for a few months and then start stalking and harassing !! I’ve had to block her on several accounts she was liking my pregnancy announcements and was ringing my partners place of buisnsss and congratulating me on the pregnancy! I do not trust the woman!! The police have been involved and warned her a few times now!

Last week on Monday I’m cooking dinner for relatives and she walks past the house looking straight at it, I’m stood in the door way as the weather is scorching! My first impression was what an abosolute weirdo nosying so i just waved at her and she carried on walking up!! Not brought it up again! Weds last week a parcel is tried to be delivered by the Royal Mail in her name to our address!! No one was in etc card left!! Stupidly I’ve ripped it up and put it in the bin as I could’ve shown this the police.

Yesterday I’m cleaning my baby’s nursery and doing last min checks etc as due to be induced Monday - I look out of the window and there she is again looking in gawping at the house!! This time I retaliated and shouted if she wanted to come in for a cuppa seeing as though she keeps walking past ( bear in mind ) there’s nothing around here it’s a housing estate and she lives other side of our town!! She replied by laughing at me and saying she would have a coffee!!! Partner is stood behind me and not once backed me up!! My hormones got the better of me that I’ve at 9’weeks overdue jumped in the car to find her and ask what her problem is and what does she want!! And basically tell her to do one !! Again partner just stayed in the house and let me go. Yes it was spur of moment but if that was my heavily pregnant partner I’d have stopped them. As I’m driving back to our house she’s walking back down, I pull up and ask her what hell her problem is ! She cannot answer me, and pretends to talk on the phone and walk away!! Now i know I shouldn’t have retaliated and given her what she wanted !! But throughout my pregnancy this woman has caused me nothing but stress and two of my scans I was in the police station giving a statement before going to see my 1st baby on scan :( and I’ve also had to be monitored because of her causing me stress and I’ve been so scared to loose my baby.

I’ve told my partner to grow a pair and tell her to do one!! Ive been so upset today that I’ve started bleeding! I’ve rang the hospital and nurse said it’s early labour and to wait for things to happen and yes I’m 10days overdue but I now see it as his stupid ex upsetting me like this has made me come into labour whilst I’m upset!! My so called supportive other half has told me I cannot blame her and I’m furious like whose side is he on here and where does his loyalties lie I’ve had enough I’ve told him I’m done !! How many more times in 3 years does one girl have to nod and smile and deal with this!! Well it’s enough now this has caused me no end of upset and now my baby girl is due I am not having his impact her!! I have asked him all day to ring the police log it down and he hasn’t which has hurt more than anything!!! It’s took another massive argument and him to tell me to ignore her for him to ring them!!! And now he thinks we can just move on and play happy family’s !! I cannot even explain how upset that my fiancé has let this stress me out this much whilst carrying his child!!! I’m not expecting him to go out and pyhsically stop her but I expect him to want to protect his family!!! From an ex who btw was put in care for trying to stab her dad and threatening to throw her baby sister Over a bridge when she was younger!!! In what right mind would any woman be comfortable with that walking around when they have a baby!! I’m so sorry for the long post I’ve just needed to vent somehow!! OH mother is telling me it’s punishing her son if I leave him and she doesn’t want him getting upset!!! Seriously to fucking God !!! I am the one upset dealing with this pregnant ! Do i stay in this in supportive relationship just to not upset dad!! Or do I take myself and my baby girl who is due any day out of it before it ends up effecting her all because her dad doesn’t want the hassle of reporting it even tho he has admitted he knows she won’t leave us alone !!!

Sorry for giving everyone a headache with this haha

Apologies if any spelling mistakes I’ve just wrote this really fast lol

OP posts:
Cloudyapples · 21/07/2018 18:24

What’s the background on his relationship with her? Do they have kids together? Was it a messy breakup? Was he still with her when you met him? If not it all seems a bit odd that she is still hanging around.

Flower08 · 21/07/2018 18:27

Nothing !!! No history, no mortgage, no
Children !!! They split up 6months before we got together

Flower08 · 21/07/2018 18:28

She was the one that had left him!! She’s had many failed relationships after him. There’s nothing between her ears ( sawdust ) she’s unhinged because who in their right mind would carry off this way

Prestonsflowers · 21/07/2018 18:33

Name change fail

lottiesco · 21/07/2018 18:34

That is really weird. I'd be calling the police every time she's outside

doucherama · 21/07/2018 18:39

I'm not so sure that your spineless DP is all that innocent here. I wonder if he's been in contact with her on the sly and she's enjoying messing with him/both of you?!

Police again I think. You don't need this right now.

Sorry OP. Thanks

TheseThingsMatter · 21/07/2018 18:44

Stalkers are scary (been there). It's hard to know how to act when all you want is for them to leave you the fuck alone. I'd probably take the baby, once born, and get the hell out of there. Whether your fiance leaves with you or not, who knows. He seem mostly useless.

lottiesco · 21/07/2018 18:48

I thought that too douche. Is he leading her on.

Flower08 · 21/07/2018 18:48

I did change my name yes!! As I wouldn’t want anyone finding out who i am on the internet!! But yes my name is Sarah and I’ve just failed changing my name on this post!!

I’ve asked him this why would he protect her what is he hiding and he says he hates her etc so if that’s the case why would he delay in telling the police!? His reason was because I’m due to give birth and he doesn’t want the stress on me !! Like hello hun are you seeing how this is making me by you phoning the police proves to me you actually gives two fucks

RoboJesus · 21/07/2018 18:50

He's done nothing wrong...

C0untDucku1a · 21/07/2018 18:51

Hate is a strong word. That in itself would make me
Uneasy.

I dont believe him either.

lottiesco · 21/07/2018 18:51

Yeah I think you have two problems here. I'd be telling him to sort it, or piss off. You don't need his drama.

Mum4Fergus · 21/07/2018 19:01

As unsettling as it all is...I really think you need to set it all aside and focus on you and baby for the time being x

Flower08 · 21/07/2018 19:19

I am thinking of my baby. Thank you all for commenting and listening I just needed to vent and feel better for doing so! Thank you again.

AnyaChristinaEmmanuellaJenkins · 21/07/2018 22:29

Have you had the baby yet?

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