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Original poster

Turning Tavern

20 replies

Branleuse · 21/07/2018 12:07

New one anybody?
A thread for women who have unexpectedly found themselves becoming attracted to women.

This is on my mind so much lately. I so want to pursue it, but am not single :'(

OP posts:
southbailey · 21/07/2018 12:12

Yes please.
I'm 3 years down the line from your thinking and am now almost divorced. It's been a very tricky path but one I know is right.

Original poster
Branleuse · 21/07/2018 12:26

Hi @southbailey , im glad youre getting there!

In reality ive got so little to offer anybody else with my situation and my childrens needs. My dp has suggested i explore it as he knows ive always been a bit bi but never really explored it properly. So much easier to find guys. I dont know whether he realises tbh how much playing with fire that actually is, or whether he is just losing interest too so doesnt care as much. Possibly a bit of both.
Im pretty sure something is gonna happen

OP posts:
Original poster
Branleuse · 21/07/2018 12:33

I even signed up to a dating app, and then deleted it

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 21/07/2018 12:59

Do you love your OH? Do you want to be in a relationship with him? Is it only sexual experiences you want to explore with women, or do you feel somehow that you’d have a better partner relationship with one, too. Would you and OH be able to communicate well enough to consider an open relationship, if it’s more about the sex side of things?

I didn’t “unexpectedly” become attracted to women - I’ve always been bisexual and open with male partners about previous female partners and lovers - but during my last serious relationship with a man I realised that I missed the connections and feelings I’d had with women and wanted to keep exploring that. We negotiated an open relationship (which ended up being open to the extent I saw other men as well as women) and it worked for us. I do understand that non-monogamy isn’t for everyone, but I genuinely think that a lot of people are attached to monogamy almost purely by social conditioning and would actually be able to move away from it healthily and positively if they felt able to discuss and negotiate with their partner.

Original poster
Branleuse · 21/07/2018 13:25

yeah I guess its not a massive surprise. I actually thought I was gay at 18, but all my relationships have been with men, but ive always had real deep friendships with women, and I actually dont trust men very much at all. Not many of them anyway

OP posts:
Original poster
Branleuse · 21/07/2018 13:26

Yes I do love him still at this point, but its very different to the way it used to be

OP posts:
Original poster
Branleuse · 21/07/2018 13:33

open relationship would be perfect tbh. I think I could even cope with poly. Even smaller pool of people up for that though!

OP posts:
JustlikeDevon · 21/07/2018 14:14

Most of my relationships have been with men but a few times over the years an incredible woman has appeared and I have very much enjoyed a brief fling. Im not ready to have a relationship with anyone at the moment but do find myself thinking about women rather than men.

Original poster
Branleuse · 22/07/2018 19:13

those other turning tavern posts got really busy, I wonder if everyone just got it out of their systems

OP posts:
southbailey · 22/07/2018 20:20

I was glued to them over the time I was realising what was going on for me (searching frantically for stuff on the Internet and mn).

herewefuckinggoagain · 04/08/2018 17:59

I only realised I was bi about 7/8 years into marriage. I'm now divorced but in a heterosexual relationship and am regretful I didn't get to explore that side more

ohmydays778 · 04/08/2018 22:24

Hi, I would love another Turning Tavern type thread. I was on the previous TT threads towards the end, but I think they ran out of steam.
I have always known I was bi, but never explored it despite being desperate to. Over the years I have realised that I am most likely a lesbian rather than bi, as my attraction to men has always been slight at best.
I am just coming out of a very emotionally damaging relationship and one of the things keeping me going at present is the fact that I can now be true to myself and explore this side of me. X

xmasbaba2014 · 05/08/2018 23:40

I'm 36 and began my first same sex relationship 6 months ago. I met my exh when I was 17. He was much older and it was a toxic, abusive relationship. 13 years and 2 dcs later I left him and immediately got into another very similar (rebound) relationship which lasted 4 years. I met a woman shortly after that relationship finished. She was coming out of an equally bad marriage and I guess over the next year we were just a huge support for each other.
I always knew I was bi but had never really had the opportunity or the confidence to explore it. I knew I had developed feelings for this woman soon after we met but I was terrified of telling her. I knew she'd only ever dated men and I was so afraid of ruining our friendship. Eventually got the courage to tell her how I felt and she felt the same. We've been together 6 months and its going really well. We've met each others kids, told our families and so far everyone's been really positive about it. I really think even if this didn't work out for any reason that I wouldn't ever go back to dating men. For me this just feels so right.

Original poster
Branleuse · 06/08/2018 08:04

thats a lovely positive story

OP posts:
Rosansha901 · 28/09/2018 19:49

Just testing to see if anyone still wants to chat... I have the same issues... don't know what to do right now... anyone willing to listen / give some advice?

Catonaroof · 28/09/2018 20:18

Hey, I've just joined to say I'd like to chat and see how you're all getting along!

I've only had relationships with men but I'm hugely crushing on this woman from work (she is a lesbian) and I don't really know where to start. I don't see her very often but we do message a couple of times a week outside work. To be honest, I don't even know if she is single.

DiscoDown · 28/09/2018 23:24

Hi, I'm bisexual too but have only recently admitted it to myself. I've been attracted to women since my late teens but have just suppressed it - I'm attracted to men more often and I didn't want to deal with it, tbh. By the time i accepted it I was married, so in my head there was no point telling anyone because I wasn't going to do anything about it anyway. I'm separated now though, and I'm out to precisely one person. I don't find dating and relationships easy to navigate at the best of times tbh. So no advice from me because I'm clueless, but happy to provide support.

Catonaroof · 29/09/2018 07:38

Well support is a good start!

I suppose my first step is to find out if my crush is single but that's tough to do without completely letting her know my intentions, haha!

DiscoDown · 29/09/2018 18:41

Can you chat to her about what she's been up to at the weekend or whatever? Scope out if she mentions a girlfriend then?

Catonaroof · 29/09/2018 21:23

Mmm well she never has mentioned a girlfriend in the past but there are lots of pics of her online with the same woman so I don't know if it her friend or girlfriend. Never lovey dovey pics but maybe she just keeps her personal life to herself?

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