Married 20 years, not the greatest of marriages but keep at it as 3 kids. Hubby went to the Middle East with friends in November last year. Comes back and is different.New aftershave, gets another phone (now has 3, 1 for work, 1 for overseas calls and this new one). Gets calls and locks himself in bathroom.
Decide to listen to him in bathroom, appears to be talking to someone and playing with himself. Confront him tell him it’s over he tells me can’t have the kids as rubbish mum and marriage shit anyway. This is is usual as he always tells me how crap I am etc. Next day he is all nice and apologises and says it is some lady he met on FB nothing serious.
I go through the phone, loads of pictures of her and explicit video from her. No messages as he deleted them but one with her address. Now it transpires whilst daughter was in hospital, he never came to see us till very late in the day and was making arrangements to send money to this lady. She lives in Africa, hubby also African. And spent all the time whilst I was in hospital with daughter he was on the phone to her constantly. He says it is over and was not a relationship but will not agree to separate. I can’t forget what he has done and feel betrayed. Feel like he does not want to separate yet as maybe he does not want to give me half the sale price of house or wants to see how he feels about her. I just want this over with. Having total negative effect on me, binge eating, loads of drinking and smoking. Feel so alone and just awful. Just want this to be over. Any advice please.