Would you say it was normal not to be able to remember very much about your adult children's childhoods?

[FrannyandZooey]

Such as things they enjoyed doing, etc?

My mum is completing a Grandparents Book that we bought her to do for ds, and she keeps saying "Well I can't remember any of the bits about "your mother (i.e me F&Z)'s childhood", so I will have to ask you when I come up."

I am 35 so I suppose it was a long time ago. She is 70 odd and neither wildly on the ball nor very prone to forgetfulness.

Well, buck the trend!

Spooky. I was only just saying to dp today how I can barely remember was ds1 was like when he was a baby - and he's the grand old age of 5...

The only thing my Mum ever says about me as a child is that I was worse. So when ds2 is having a tantrum she'll say "you were worse", or when ds1 is sulking, it'll be "you were worse".

She's so uplifting, my Mum...

ds2 (8 months) makes monster noises. I'm sure I'll remember that. Now he's started making pidgeon noises too.

My children aren't particularly old, but I can't remember many details such as birth weights, when they walked/crawled, when their teeth came through, what their first words were etc. Don't know if that necessarily makes me a bad mother, or an odd person.

My mum and dad don't seem to remember a lot tbh - I am 22 (they are 55) and their only child. No idea when I started walking/talking/my fave toys etc.

Yes, if I remember one thing about ds's it will be the silence of ds1 (who decided he'd communicate when he was good and ready and not before, thank you very much) and the NOISE of ds2 who has not shut up since being born. I'll never forget having to drag dp into the room to hear him singing the Noddy theme tune when he was 9 months old. And he's not bloody stopped singing it since...

(but I was worse, apparently).

lol @ mi

your MIL sounds like me

My mother can't remember much either

Not much really HAPPENS though, does it? I mean it's all sort of dolls and clapping for the first 10 years?

Aw, Franny, she was clearly so determined not to be a pushy embarrassing mother that she had to bury her never-ending joy at your adorable antics. Or something!

My mother can reminisce for hours about my sister's and my childhood. But I think that's because she's been doing it all our lives - when we were small, she'd tell us stories about when we were even littler. If you don't constantly revisit something, it gets lost, I reckon.

Yes, I was just thinking, unworthily, that they errrr don't do anything really notable, do they, not much.

Admittedly there is the odd spectacular outburst ('Mummy, that hurts and breaks my feelings and crumples them up and puts them in the bin and the truck comes along and takes them to the DUMP') but really, they just burble along.

lol mi yes not much really HAPPENS, it is just the burling of life

But I'm sure if I had a Tardis I would keep re-visiting their various stages

DOCTOR WHO: "Ooh Morningpaper, where shall we go now? Shall we visit the end of the Earth?"
Me: "OMG NO! Let's go to that day when DD filled her baby walker with toilet rolls and pushed it around the house and then took all the books off the bookcase."
DIRECTOR GENERAL OF BBC:

Funny true story:- friend of mine (who was in the same class as me in primary school) and I were on a nursery + reception trip as adult helpers. She turned to her dd3 and said 'you, what's your name??' And She Was Serious! She honestly couldn't recall her dd's name - doesn't bode well for the recollections of childhood in years to come, but I will never forget it, I was hysterical with laughter

Also remember that we have much more documented stuff these days. I have three black and white photo's of me as a child. My ds has hundreds, in colour.

We have those red books they issue from birth which records their birth weights, etc. Our parents didn't.

Without such prompts, yes, the memories do fade. It doesn't mean that love does.

The human being is not programmed to remember the little things. I don't know a single parent of an adult child who remembers much about their children's childhood. They remember certain things (that you may not), but not every plodding minute. Can you recall every second of your childhood?

Honestly .. it will be the same for us. Which is why I do laugh (respectfully) at some of the threads on MN and the energy and hot air that goes into them.

you see the way other peop[les eyes glaze over when you tell the next gripping installment of ds's eating or languegae development?? well, its coz, ultimately, it really not that gripping.
i bet you dont remember a fraction of whaty you think you will

I don't expect her to remember every second or even every minute of it but I do expect her to be able to remember enough to write a couple of poxy lines in a sodding grandparents book

Did she keep any scrap books?

My mum has just moved to a smaller house and has no room for her boxes and boxes of my "memories", so she's giving them to me!

I'm trying to think of a nice way of telling her that the dusty old crap she's been collecting for 24 years is not something I want or need.

It's not just photos or drawings btw, but nearly everything I ever brought home from nursery and primary school, school reports from secondary, swimming badges, brownies and guides stuff etc...

Help!

"No, it is not normal, she is an evil freak, what sort of person could not remember all the cute, unique and unforgettable things that you, F&Z did as a little child."

Well, my Mum just makes it up, with great confidence, even though I know she's forgotten and is completely wrong.

you really really do need to write the quirky things down - I do it on my dairybook - fully intending on transferring to their little baby books ( haven't managed that yet, I have 2004, 2005 and now 2006 waiting in the back of the cupboard somewhere will lots of little interesting bits about the dds!)
when I tell my mum something about the girls she is the first one to tell me I Need To Write It Down

i have a twenty-two year old and twenty year old and i have forgotten great swathes of their childhood. but if we chat about it that will often prompt me to remember stuff i can tell them. perhaps your mum needs to chat about it with you for memories to come flooding back. also i'd say that the easier a child is to look after, the less you remember about their childhood. so perhaps you were a total joy every day, franny