the male gaze

[buttonmoom]

I know we all like to look at attractive people, myself included but I would maybe glance once and be discreet. I certainly wouldn't look back again as I see that as flirting.
Guy I am seeing kind of sneaks a sideways look and will do so more than once which kind of annoys me. We were out recently and there was a girl with her bf and she was wearing a short summer dress, nice legs etc. So, he was distracted by her and she caught him and kind of smiled awkwardly. He smiled back :( I just gave him a look like wtf?
The thing is I know he really fancies me and I know that I get a fair bit of attention which I ignore. Why can't he?

It bothers me. Should I raise it and tell him how it makes me feel or accept this is who he is and move on?

It's great that you feel like that @Freshfeelings but that doesn't help the op

I'd move on. Someone with such poor impulse control isn't attractive.

I dumped someone who did this.

Everything else in the relationship was great. Perfect almost. But I knew that this was something I was neither willing to tolerate nor had any desire to 'train' him out (as some people on here are suggesting). I also feel as you do regarding men who look at me.

I'm worth more than that and you are too.

Blimey, Freshfeelings. Perhaps get some self esteem that doesn't rely on boys looking at you.

@Freshfeelings didn't give any indication that their self esteem relies on being stared at in the street. And it's very rude of y to suggest it does, @UkulelesAndFirepits just because they have a different opinion on this to you.

Of course it is a nice feeling to know that other people think you look attractive. Again, this is only natural. Don't shame people for being able to appreciate when they look good.

I used to go out with a bloke who did this. He was fairly open with it too. When I spoke to him about it he simply said he really appreciated the female form in all it’s guieses to be honest, I actually believed him, he wasn’t being letchy or trying to flirt, he was just looking... we split because if other things, but it became obvious that looks and bodies meant a lot to him. More than personality it’s seemed

Of course it is a nice feeling to know that other people think you look attractive. Again, this is only natural. Don't shame people for being able to appreciate when they look good.

It's not 'natural'. I can tell if I look attractive by looking in the mirror.

Someone who can appreciate when they look good doesn't look to men for validation/approval.

It's disrespectful of him op
I wouldn't want to be with a man who was always looking or ogling over other women. Not nice.

I once dated a man who did this. Every time we went out his head swivelled and I got fed up. When we met up with friends or went out with my colleagues he was turning his head to ogle a women and my friends noticed and I noticed. It was rude. I dumped him.

Been out with loads of other men who do not do this. It is not the norm and not something you have to put up with.

My dh has started to do this. He thinks I'm stupid and won't notice, because he tries to do it in a discreet way. However, I do notice and I'm not stupid.

Women do it too. They're just far more subtle about it. My hot male boss was leaning back in his seat with his arms behind his head while he was chatting to me and it took all my effort not to stare at his chest but I fixed his face instead.

My ex-DH did this. It was just another sign of his general twattishness.

My current DH has never done it.

I do think it's natural to have a quick look. Everyone does to a certain extent. What isn't nice is the over the top perving and making it obvious. Luckily my dp doesn't do this and I would never do this in his presence. I feel it's disrespectful to your partner and I would just wilt there and then if he ever did it to me because I have zero confidence. (Nothing to do with dp, had it all my life.)

Disrespectful and rude. Move on.