Will he ever come back.

[Renee2006]

My husband and I are 29 and been together for 4 years (but know each other since school) we got married last year March and had our daughter the same year May. Everything happened so fast and as a new mum I devoted my time to our new baby girl but at every chance I had tried to make him feel special.
Since her birth he distanced himself and I had to continuously beg him to help more or be apart of our lives more as we did not live together.

He is very childish and enjoys his social media, video games and dressing up as characters more than being with us.
3 weeks ago he said he is unhappy and doesn’t want to be with me anymore, I have asked if we can attend counselling or if there is anything I can do and he just says he has had enough and becaomes verbally abusive and threatens me.

I know I haven’t done enough for him but my time was taken up by taking care of our daughter alone but I did try.

I’m not sure what to do anymore as I feel like I have ruined my daughters life by him leaving me.

I have also recently found out that a woman on his social media has been pursuing him and will see him at an upcoming convention.

I do still love him but I can’t stand back and watch him move on while still being married to me.

He is a prick , YOU haven’t done anything wrong here so please don’t blame yourself he is deflecting for his own shitty behaviour. Kick him out , block him and advise him that the only way to contact you will be through your solicitor.

So sorry you’re going through this op xx

Just read that he didn’t live with you , another indication that he finds it hard to commit and be an adult.

I wouldn’t look at his social media , it’s only going to be hurtful to you and slow down your recovery process xx

Sounds like mine before we spilt. Always remember, you both brought your child into the world, and you have been doing what you are meant to be doing, looking after the little one! Its his problem if you don't get that much time together, could be fixed if he helped more. I would tell you not to run after him, that only pushes them away more, let him see what life would be like without you, and if he is maybe in contact with this other woman, then there isn't much you can do. Pulling him away from her will push him more to her. Take time to do what I right for you and your little one....don't blame yourself x

Oh god he sounds like a child, why was your husband and father of your child not living with you? That's v strange. He seems detatched from reality. Living in a world of computer games etc. I would really take a look and see if you really want someone like that in your lives. Did he want to get married and have a baby??

You are not responsible for his happiness, only your own - please stop believing that you could have done anything to MAKE him happy.

Of course you should be concentrating on your child, your priorities are in the right place, his are not.

What are you on about with I know I haven’t done enough for him ?

He doesn't live with you, he spends all his time video gaming, he's not wanting to spend as much time as possible caring for his child and making sure you have love and support from him.

It is him who has not done enough.

You are not angry enough at your loser of a husband. Find your anger.

Why are you blaming yourself?

He's left because (at the very least) he is immature, selfish and cruel.

It doesn't feel like it but he has done you a favour. Don't waste time chasing and correcting him.

Be available for a partner you don't have to work on.

Thank you all so much for your support and kind words.
I feel like I am to blame because he has made it clear that it is all my fault, I blame myself that my baby girl will grow up without a constant father in her life (not that he has been around from the beginning)

He said that he felt blackmailed into marrying me because I was pregnant but I didn’t force him to propose, say “I do” or to sign the marriage certificate. I told him when we found out about our baby that if he didn’t want to do it with me I would alone but he said we would do it as a team.

I’m so beyond broken hearted that he has moved on so fast and doesn’t want to try and fix things.

I swear that I have done all that I could to be a good wife and amazing mum.

How do I let go?

You let go by going through the seven stages of grief (google them).

You really ought to be getting onto the anger stage pretty soon.

Your husband is a loser and a dick. Your daughtet does not need someone like that in her life. Loser dicks always blame their issues on other people. It doesn't make it true. If anything it should alert you to the fact they are losers and why.

All because he blamed you it does not make it your fault. You really sound like you could not have done anymore and if that is not enough for him then he really is not worth anymore from you.

Sorry OP but you can do better than this. He can rewrite history to make himself feel better if he wants, but nobody made him marry you or do anything else. Sounds more like you are a real adult and have expectations of him and he wants to be distant from that and carry on being a man-child instead.
It's natural to want to try to make things work when you love someone but you need to query why you have desperately tried to make him happy and he hasn't bothered to reciprocate that. Your child will be fine, you've not ruined anything- If anything you are setting an example to your DC that you are not here to tolerate verbal abuse, cowardly manipulation and being taken for granted, and that is is not the norm.
Stay strong- he does not get to decide who's 'fault' this is, he is not the final authority on the matter, and doesn't even sound like a pleasant person. Take back some control if possible and be mindful that just because you love someone doesn't mean you are right to, nor does it mean you should be with them.