Separating- how to get on with it???!

[5unny5ide]

New to this so please bare with me...
I’ve been married for nearly 20 yrs, mostly unhappily. Despite this H insists all is ok & does not want to split. I have just had enough. He’s not a horrible man : is a good provider & wants to be a good dad. 3 school age kids. I am do bank work so have no formal contract although I’ve worked ft for past year. He says I can’t leave cos I can’t afford it - I have no savings to speak of. We have equity in our house. Where do I go from here? I just want a home for me & children. I need some help finding out about maintenance and what I should be asking for from him... I don’t want to fleece him ( he’s very money minded) but cannot stay ... any advice would be great x

Stop listening to him! Start to listen to your inner voice. Get legal advice and start the ball rolling. Of course he is going to come up with multiple reasons the divorce can't go ahead. He wants to stay married. Prove him wrong OP and move into the light :)

The CSA calculator will give you an idea about how much maintenance is reasonable.
Then I think the starting point would be 50% of the equity in your home.
A solicitor can help you work out the finer details but you need to think about who will stay in the home and whether you can afford the bills.
You may be eligible for tax credits too - there’s a calculator on HMRC website.

Thanks both x I went to see a solicitor about a year ago who’s advice seemed reasonable. I think i’m just a bit frightened by the whole thought of formalising things but I have to do something...
I’m unsure about whether to tell him I’ve taken advice or to just send a letter from solicitor. What did you do and how did it pan out?

Whose! Lol!

Well I’m not actually divorced. We agreed to separate, he was arsey about wanting to keep the house, so I took mortgage advice and got him to buy me out.
He gave me 50% of the equity, I got a mortgage for the rest and moved into my new (fabulous) home last month.
My children aren’t my husband’s - when I left their dad we sold the house, split the equity and agreed maintenance using the CSA calculator.