At wits end over DM

[everydaymum]

I have no idea what to do about DM. I have posted in AIBU previously about considering limiting contact (she tries to guilt my 5yo DS into showing her affection and makes him feel bad every time he politely declines - he isn't rude about it but doesn't want to hug/kiss her and we don't make him). She won't respect our stance in not forcing him to show affection, and is angry we won't let her spend time alone with him (if she tries to guilt him in front of us I don't trust her if we're not there - there are also some physical issues with DM that make physically caring for a child on her own difficult which she won't acknowledge). Anyway, she is able to see him whenever she wants with us (at the moment), and is nearby so this can be weekly.
The problem is she has taken to social media and regularly posts memes about 'GPs not being able to see DGC' and 'DDs not treating DMs well'. Neither of which are true - she's able to visit whenever she wants, we take her out - she's just not getting 'her way'. Because they're memes I'm not named, but everyone reading them thinks they're directed at me. I don't follow her on social media but I get advised by various people when she's 'at it again'. Numerous people have spoken to her about her behaviour towards both me and my DS but it doesn't stop. I have considered that there may be psychological issues or possibly the beginnings of dementia as her personality has changed over the last year or so and there is family history of it, but she refuses to take responsibility for her actions (usually flat out denies everything), and claims she has no problem. Maybe there's not an underlying issue but if there is it could help explain things and maybe we could do something about it.
What should I do?

Ring her Dr say what you said above about he personally changing in last year . And the other stuff .
They can do a welfare check .

What was she like with you as a child?. What are your boundaries like re your mother these days, they do seem too low and she is taking advantage of that. You need to protect both you and your son from her. My guess too is that she has always been difficult in terms of personality and it is not your fault your mother is the ways she is. I therefore doubt very much that dementia is playing any role here (perhaps you have thought this because you do not really want to think she is acting deliberately here due to your own fear, obligation and guilt re your mother) but she is continuing to be spiteful to get what she wants. People like your mother as well never apologise nor accept any responsibility for their actions so I was not surprised to read that of her.

What she is doing here is another form of emotional manipulation but this time with your son on the receiving end. You have likely been similarly manipulated by her. You have every right to limit contact with people who are not emotionally safe to be around and that includes your mother. You've told her repeatedly that her behaviours are unacceptable and she still persists mainly because she wants her own way.

Ignore all her social media outbursts and tell people not to mention what your mother has been posting online.

BTW you do not mention your dad at all here, is he still in your life?.

DM hasn't always been like this, which is why I was considering 'other' reasons for the behaviour. But her relatives are like this, so maybe it's just personality. She didn't behave like this when DF was alive (he's been gone a while now), maybe he kept her 'in check'! But regardless of the reasons for the behaviour (also blatant disregard for our parenting decisions), I can't keep dealing with it. I really think as long as she still sees DS she doesn't care what we say, and so limiting or going no contact is the only thing that could stop her. It just seems harsh, and not something I'd ever have envisaged doing 2 yrs ago.