alone

[lifelines]

I have namechanged although I have spoken about my relatioship a bit with other usernames.
I've been seperated for 4 months, have an amicable relationship with ex of my DC whereas when we were together all we did was argue day and night.
I'm less tense and feel more peaceful now that we're not together but I am so so lonely. Even though my exDH was oblivious to me and anything I had to say for years, now that I'm really alone I feel depressed and sad and keep bursting into tears all day.
Does being alone get better?
I've never physically been this sad and heartbroken in my life but I don't actually miss HIM, I miss the companionship and love.
I don't think I'll ever have that because the only thing I want to do is concentrate on myDC.
How do I make myself feel better?

It will get better for you. These things take time. Don't beat yourself up about what went wrong - just concentrate on your dc and do what's best for them AND you. Enjoy being single for awhile. What's the rush of getting back into a relationship again so soon? It tends to happen when you least expect it

I think you're just feeling down, but that's not to say that you won't ever find love again.

I’m feeling like this tonight

Things really will get easier with time. Don't force the process, just go with it. You will gradually adjust to your new normal, but it is hard at first. Be kind to yourself.

I keep getting told it will get easier, I don’t have advice but just reaching out to say I feel the same and it’s horrible. I’m really trying to start doing things alone which is helping, whether that’s going for lunch, cinema, gun a glass of wine. Just people around people is good for me. I tried OLD and that made me feel temporarily worse!

I totally hear you, I felt exactly the same after leaving DD’s Dad who was a nightmare and I had a very traumatic relationship with him but when it was good it was really good... very hard to get over. I felt intense loneliness and sadness and failure. The magnitude of being a single parent and how that would change my life forever really hit me after I got out of the relationship and I was very low & incredibly lonely. Also because you know you need time alone to heal, but you crave comfort and someone to hold your hand after so many years of emotional neglect. It’s really hard but try and stay with the feeling and let yourself feel it, don’t be ashamed or try and stifle those feelings. Let them move through you and wash away. It really does pass. The more you can accept and come to terms with it without wishing for your situation to change the easier it is to then find peace in where you are and not feel so desperately lonely. Really good time to throw yourself into reading, self discovery, learning, resting, taking care of yourself, some healthy wallowing ! Baths, massages, connecting with friends (but don’t always talk about the breakup - talk as much as you need for few months but don’t let it define you) It honestly does get so much easier. I used to cry every night with loneliness but now I starfish in bed and love it. I feel I’ve reset myself to the point I feel ready and excited about a new relationship but don’t need it to be content. Some time I have really bad days when single parenting just feels too lonely and too much but truly they are not often anymore at all, whereas first few months or year I felt like that constantly. Wish I had been able to pull myself out of it quicker and not spent so much of my daughter’s toddler good feeling lonely and sad. I found meditation and yoga with breath work - Kundalini - and Reiki healing as woo as it sounds - I was a total sceptic etc but it really helped me connect to myself and the feeling that I am supported and everything is ok & perfect as it is. Those anchors and healing tools really helped me / saved me. You always hear “you have to love yourself first” but I didn’t know how to connect with myself. Those spiritual tools / meditation and connecting with my body actually worked and I cannot recommend enough for being able to build a relationship with yourself. 💗