Possible date

[pinkpixie83]

I have no idea what to do, I have been asked out by a man on Sunday. He's made it very clear he likes me, although from photos as it's online dating. I'll give him credit we have been talking for a month, frequently by text. But from his photos I don't think I find him attractive.
I don't know whether to go Sunday and see or just cease contact.
I wonder if we've just been texting because it's company for each other?
I'm really not very good at this online dating.
WWYD?

Alarm bells are ringing loudly, OP. It's up to you whether you listen to them.

Kik is the messaging app of choice for cheaters OP - no need for a phone number, so easy to hide your tracks on it.

Red flag OP, don't waste any more time on him. Why the hell is he on a dating site on his 'work' phone?!
You should always speak to them before you meet, you can tell a lot and it'll calm nerves before you meet or he'll give you the creeps, which is also a good thing then you know it's not for you and you won't waste anymore time.

Come to think of it - I have a work phone, no way I'd put dating app on it, I've happily given out the number to personal contacts though

He's definitely married. Don't meet him.

I agree the 'work phone' thing is such a dodgy excuse. Cancel.

Messaging someone for 4 weeks before meeting them is a very good way to waste your time.

I'd be out. I use whatsapp exclusively for this kinda thing purely because you have to use your number on it.
My red flags would be up.

I'd drop him like a hot potato

Sod kik and him refusing to give your number. He's taken

What have you decided to do OP?

Perhaps he has an embarrassingly weird voice, or a speech impediment that makes him self-conscious.

Or he's married.

Probably the latter tbh.

I've never met anybody OLD unless they can snapchat me or FaceTime me (or anything similar basically) and prove they are who they say they with a real time candid photo or video.

Agree with PPs no phone number is a big red flag.

Write this one off as a catfish/time waster/married, it's better to be safe than sorry.

I haven't decided anything yet.

Awful as it sounds but there is no one else vaguely on the radar

pinkpixie c’mon girl, you can do better than this!

Your alarm bells were ringing before you even posted this thread. You weren’t sure you fancied him. You’ve had a load of replies here saying he’s showing a load of red flags.

You are much better off being single than being with a guy who won’t even commit to giving him phone number out.

Now, what were you planning to do on your date on Sunday? I bet between us mumsnetters we can plan something way better for you, either by yourself or with some friends, because you DESERVE BETTER than what he is offering you. Treat yourself, don’t rely on some guy to do it for you.

We were only going to have a coffee. Nothing special.

Without the date it will just be another Sunday on my own. And yes that's life. I'm not meeting anyone on OLD at all. 3 first dates since September last year. I'm sick of spending my child free time on my own.

Sorry to say but if you are in the mindset of anyone is better than no one you will end up with the dregs.

It's hard on your own. But this bloke is not being honest for whatever reason. A phone call is the minimum before meeting up. It's mandatory.

Don’t waste time chatting for weeks a few days of chat and an attraction and I’d be asking to phone/meet as I’ve wasted so so so much time chatting to men who then disappear when I suggest meeting, some are just after a confidence boost and some chat.

Be kind to yourself, I know attraction isn’t everything but it does help. In my experience I don’t talk to men on Snapchat or kik, alarm bells ring big time! I don’t mind giving my number to someone, always block if it goes a bit weird.

Lastly, don’t date if it’s just something else to do. I’ve been single 4 years now boyfriend but ended badly and I’ve been enjoying my life with the kids and friends. It’s hard on your own on kid free weekends/hols etc (I have 4 so it’s too quiet) but I joined meetup went out and met people and now have a lovely wee group of friends and a man would be nice but I’m not too worried and I feel that’s the best way to be. It’s a compliment to your life not a need, I certainly do not need a man to be happy 😃.

Go quiet on this guy or tell him sorry but you want to chat on phone first etc, then go join meet up and see what’s out there x

Kik is used by people in relationships who don't want to risk divulging their number. I'm guessing he asked you to download it? Sorry OP. Sadly there are so many married men on these sites looking for an OW.

Please don't lower your standards to the point you'll take anyone so you're not home alone
He won't give you his number until he's met you? Let alone any other crap he's come out with, I'd be seeing that as his get out of jail card alone. He could block you on everything you've used to talk and wouldn't hear from him again if he wasn't feeling it.

I've been seeing a guy for nearly 8 weeks now after being single for 4 years. By luck we came across eachother, but he'd sent me his number after some good long chats we had. And he was the one who wanted to meet, I pushed it off for nearly 2 weeks as I was too nervous but since we met we've been inseparable and it's the best decision I made and the first time I've ever met someone so soon online dating.

Don't lower your standards just for some company. I know the feeling too well. But this guy is already giving flaky excuses and won't even text you

Bin him off

Oh an a point that has been made, speak to him on the phone or facetime/Skype before you meet him, if you do ?

I made that a new rule, and he jumped at the chance to phone me for a few days and FaceTime so I knew it was him i was talking to and make me feel at ease

None of this " I won't give out my number till we've met" shit, he's not exactly filling anyone with confidence is he

I think the more I think about it there is something a miss.

I'm best to block and move on aren't I? Do I tell him or just do it and forget it?

I would tell him the truth, it’s put me off that you don’t want to talk on the phone so we will leave it there thanks. I think he should know in case he does the same with the next woman and the next. Then block him.

Block & forget rather than over analysing.

I agree with Toohotme - explain you feel uncomfortable that he wouldn't speak on his 'work phone' to you so you won't be meeting him. Wish him well and then block and move on. Good luck, it takes time but you get to suss people out OLD after a while. You recognise things that are suspicious or don't feel right. I'm sure you'll have some good options soon x

Well I think he's lost interest anyway. For the first morning in I don't know how long he hasn't text but is fully active on the dating site.

I think I'm done with online dating.