Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If anyone can offer advice on cheating I'm feeling so low

15 replies

Meganj95 · 19/07/2018 18:28

Hi guys... some background info - partner and I been together just over two years, our child is 5 months old. We've been having a tough time of things and decided to have a break from each other (but were still having sex and spending time together with our baby). His ex has always been in the background of our relationship as he claims they're good friends and now I've found out that while I was staying with my mum for a couple of weeks he was seeing her, has had sex with her and she has sent him naked photos of herself. I've also seen a while back that she sent him inappropriate photos of herself while she was pregnant with someone else (has a baby younger than ours but has split from the dad). We talked about it and he assured me that he has now broke it off with her and blocked her on everything as he wants to be with me and our child however I just can't get over it. I could have dealt with the talking and photos but it's the sex that's just made me feel awful, it's like a sinking feeling I can't eat I can't sleep and I just feel so run down and crying all the time, I'm not managing to take my child out of the house as I just can't stop crying all the time. He says he wants to make a go of things but when I try to talk about it he just goes mad and shouts at me. He finds a way to make it my fault like I'm not allowed to have feelings. Has anyone else experienced this and found a way to get over it and continue their relationship? I do want to be with him but it's so heartbreaking and every time we have sex I imagine him with her and also multiple times a day I'm thinking about it like did he kiss her like he kisses me, what position did they do it in etc. He also told me he enjoyed it while we were having an argument about it today and this was awful for me, I've dropped him and our baby off at my mother in laws house and gone home to cry in bed. I feel heartbroken and like I'm a bad parent! He has also told me I'm being an awful mother as i have been out drinking a couple of times since I found out to try and make myself feel better, he claims I have been "dumping the baby on whoever will take her to go and get pissed". 😥 Any advice ?

OP posts:
namechangefriday · 19/07/2018 18:33

Get rid. That’s the only advice you need.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 19/07/2018 18:35

There's no excuse for his sleeping with her or his attitude to you afterwards. Get rid.

gillybeanz · 19/07/2018 18:39

He made his choice and decided it was with her, rather than trying to work on your relationship.
Don't hang around for the crumbs is my advice and get an std check, pronto.

gillybeanz · 19/07/2018 18:42

He's also abusive to you when he has screwed around, wake up and ditch the loser.
He'll have another child with another unsuspecting person in a years time.
some men just go through life making babies and screwing the next.
You and your child deserve better.
Tell him he's a bad parent for fucking someone else and putting the mother of his child in danger from an std.

category12 · 19/07/2018 18:42

Dump his ass.

SandyY2K · 19/07/2018 18:44

He's not reconciliation material.

He's far from remorseful and him getting mad tells you all you need to know.

He felt entitled to cheat and he'll do it again with his attitude.

You're better off without him.

BlueAir · 19/07/2018 18:50

I couldn't live with someone such a nasty callous man as him.
He's not worth the candle is he op? I'd get rid - a few
weeks of heartache now compared to a lifetime of his nasty bollocks...no contest.
For you Flowers

Meganj95 · 19/07/2018 19:02

I should also add that while we were on our little break I went out with friends and kissed someone while I was out - a peck and told him the next day out of guilt, hadn't spoken to the guy before haven't spoken side did I deserve this ?

OP posts:
GetOffTheTableMabel · 19/07/2018 19:07

Well, you can’t do this for the rest of your life, can you?
He will do it again.
If he’s really sorry (& frankly, it seems like he’s not), he might manage not to do it for a while, but he will cheat again. If his family with you is already so far down his list of priorities when your baby is 5 months time old, how do you think he will be behaving when your child is 2 or 3.
You can break up with this loser now, or you can do it later with more pain.

another20 · 19/07/2018 19:39

Is the exGF baby his?

another20 · 19/07/2018 19:41

How old is her baby? 3months? 4 months? - when did he have sex with her?

Loopytiles · 19/07/2018 19:42

LTB

Dtb27 · 19/07/2018 21:48

I am currently going through a break up, and have felt every single emotion you have described. I am 7 weeks in and it's only now starting to get a touch better.
I have been with DH for 9 years and had only been married 39 days when he told me he met a girl on his stag doo had an affair up till the wedding and now she is pregnant and keeping it. He is now with her.
I felt every word you said as I know how painful it is. The images, not being able to block them and tune out. It feels like mental torture.
I know it's easier said then done but i do think maybe you should think of leaving. I considered trying but realised I am better than that! You deserve to be treated better than that. Stay strong OP cry it out, and do whatever you feel you need to do to get stronger. Sending hugs and strength.
Keep posting as feels nice to let it out and get some amazing advice from other members, it's really helped me x

Dappledsunlight · 19/07/2018 21:58

Oh God, please find a man who respects you and who deserves your respect. Hold your head high. Don't be held hostage because of HIS bad behaviour. Don't cower. Get up to start your life differently from today. We get one life and make it a quality one for you and your child. You don't need any man who inflicts this damage. Good luck Op. X

Kerryberry34 · 20/07/2018 19:08

It’s hard enough trying to get over text and photos sex would be a deal breaker for me.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread