Am I overreacting at husbands words

[allure81]

My husband and I are pregnant with baby number 3. I still have a few months to go but I thought I'd start looking at our finances and put aside a little extra for when money is tight. Our wages go into our separate accounts and then we pay a percentage into our joint account based on our earnings. He earns almost 3x more than me so puts in more as I'm part time. Not sure if it's relevant but I could potentially match his salary in my job if I went full time and applied for a promotion but this would mean I'd be away for days at a time so not really ideal yet till dc are older. I suggested we just put our whole wages in as I'm always having to ask him to top up the joint account mid month and tbh I feel it's pointless I know what he earns and I see what he puts in ect he's not mean with money by any means. This suggestion wasn't a deal breaker for me more out of convenience but he turned around and said I will leave you before I do that I'm not living that way where I don't have a penny to my own name. This comment has really upset me not that he won't do it but what he said. I'm not sure whether pregnancy hormones are making this out to be worse though but I'm finding it hard to be around someone who can say something like that so easily.

How did his Dad react to handing money to his Mum? Did he grow up with a Dad moaning about not having a penny to his name, and how women will take all your money and keep your short? If so, then he's probably got a deep-seated fear of what you suggested.

Either he's got some ridiculous fear that you're out to fleece him & his money is some kind of protection (this isn't good, but gives some understanding), or he's a complete arse who gets off on making you ask for money instead of just freely giving it.

Bad choice of words threatening that but, I agree with your OP. I’d never agree to that either

He's probably been raised to always look out for himself and keep himself afloat, never knowing what's around the corner type of head screwed-on mentality, he's being realistic as at the end of the day he is his own person, anything could happen between you and he probably sees it as a little too close for comfort like sharing a phone, you're not tied at the hip.

I think you should of tried to come to an agreement as to the amount of finances needed and for what every however many weeks/months and see if you could sort something out, let the man have some of his own money.