Well I never thought I'd be on here writing this....but we're getting a divorce
He walked out 2 weeks ago saying he can't do it anymore (only been together 3 years married just over a year)!
He (step-dad) can't stand my teenage kids because they can't close a bin lid, or put dishes in the dishwasher the ways he wants it to be done! (They really are good kids and I've tried to explain that he's getting annoyed over trivial things) he has a child to a previous relationship and his son can do no wrong, the perfect child that only needs to be told once apparently (he's only allowed to see him for a few hours every other weekend....so he's not having to do the full time parenting with him... the usual put your washing in the wash basket, bring that glass downstairs that you used last night (the typical kid things)! When I've mentioned kids will be kids he hates it, he thinks I don't discipline them properly.
He gets in really bad moods, used to drink 8 cans a night before he met me (obviously I didn't know this when I met him) now on weekends (starting Thursday for him he drinks between 24-32 cans of lager).
He was great to begin with would go out of his way to help the kids, happy, laughing etc but over time it's like he didn't like how close me and the kids were (my family and friends think he was jealous, wanted me to himself and tried to push the kids away) my daughter is 16 so she's either out with friends or working so she wasn't really about much, my son (now 13) hid out in his room to keep away from my husband because he was walking on eggshells around him, afraid to come down and ask for a drink (which my husband would never say anything to my son...he'd wait until he went back upstairs and I'd get the 'bit late isn't it' comment (it was 9:20 and sons bed time is 9:30) so not not late in my eyes.
He tried to isolate me from my family & friends didn't want to go to any social events, made them feel uncomfortable when they came to visit that that started to stay away (I could see I was losing them all, but wanted him to be happy) he would get in moods if I had planned to meet up with a friend (then thought that all I'd done is 'slag him off' his words) I was catching up with a friend I had better things to do. I would get messages saying how long does it take to go for a walk?? Etc.
He's got OCD, insecurities, depression & alcohol problems although he doesn't think he had got any of these and doesn't need to change (it's all us and we need to change)!
He was ill a few weeks back and I thought he had a bug or eaten something that didn't agree with him (then last week he messages me saying the reason why I was ill last week is because I tried to kill myself...he took tablets) I said what if the kids found you, his response was I took them and went to bed only one person would of found me!!! Oh lovely could you imagine waking up the next morning to that horrific situation!
He didn't even speak to half of his family thinking he's better than them all (he's very materialistic, very look at me)
When money was concerned he wouldn't pay for a single thing if it involved the kids (such as dinner money, bus money for school etc) he loved that I paid the bills (he pay half) then when I got to the end of the month and was struggling he would love that I didn't have any and had to ask him.
I'm getting different messages from him at the minute- one being I miss you, I love you, I wish things could go back to the way they were when we first met but I know we are better off apart -to- the dogs more mine than yours I paid more for him so I'll be taking him with me.
My son said he changed as soon as we got married, the arguing got worse and when the going got tough he'd run back to his dads house (this had happened 4/5 times) my son said are we going to give it another go? Because if my husband comes back he's going to live with his nan that's how much my son can't stand him, the moods, the being ignored (son said he felt invisible as my husband wouldn't even talk to him) when I brought this up with my husband he said 'if he doesn't talk to me I'm not taking to him' how bloody immature (he's the adult) my kids are actually more mature than him.
I know my head says this is no good move on, my heart says I love him...I called off my wedding to the kids father after being together for 12 years because I knew it wasn't right (& my husband knew I only wanted to get married the once and it was a massive deal for me...he knew I'd only be marrying the person I wanted to spend my whole life with). My friends think he did it as a challenge 'haha now I've got you' now I can really be myself and the true colours came out (they say all the beginning was a lie and that he wasn't truly being himself) until we got married.
I should mention when he split with his ex (child's mum) he moved back to his dads and cut himself, he can't cope with life, he doesn't understand families, has hardly any friends, doesn't even like most of his own family! I just don't get it!!! He had the chance to have a happy family I would of done (nearly anything for him...I wouldn't of pushed my family and friends away and he just needed to be calmer with the kids) but anything else I could of dealt with. I hope one day he'll realise he actually had a good life here!
Would love to hear your thoughts on this & thanks for reading 🙂