Hoping for people to say nice things about me - silly

[ConfusedWife1234]

So I have been feeling down and hopeless for a while because hubby who has ptsd is not feeling well and because of a number of other things.

So, I really hoped somebody would say something nice about me today. Did not happen, in fact people said something critical... maybe rightly so because I did something that offended somebody (accidentally).
I am still awake, watching dh sleep and hoping somebody says something nice and thanks me for his service (which is stupid indeed, because I never served a day in my life).

So I am very, very silly but I thought maybe any of you has a big heart for silly people.

You are the unsung hero.
I've never had PTSD but a few years ago my OH had cancer. I'm the one who had to keep it all together, I'm the one who had to keep the show on the road.

The person in the background doesn't get the sympathy, but they feel the strain too.

You are very strong to support your DH through his PTSD.

Please say thank you to him for his service. Sounds like he has paid a high price to protect people.

Looking after a family when your partner has a long term physical or mental health problem can be a lonely and difficult place. Don’t you feel ashamed that you need emotional support yourself, and you deserve to hear the nicest things about yourself spoken out loud. You are a good kind and strong person. And please remember that as important as it is for others to voice that sometimes, your strength and kindness come from inside you and you should be proud of that and use it to bolster you when you are feeling low. You have done more than enough to earn not just others’ respect and admiration, but your own as well.

Best wishes to you and your DH 🌸

Wow, the both of you are being so kind. I will tell him you said that... and yes he paid a high price... because of a sense of obligation and family tradition and I am very proud of him and I hope other people are too.
I am silly because I always wait for people to say this when they have their own worries and have no idea I am waiting for them to say this.

I am just a bit emotionally needy, always have been like this and he sometimes needs more support than he can give... I guess.

So, thank you so much for being so nice.

And you are so kind too Silverdoe. Thanks so much.

Please thank your DH for his service, and send my wishes that his PTSD is treated and lessens over time.

Thank you, ConfusedWife for supporting him while he served. That takes courage. Immense courage.

Please remember to look after yourself too, won't you?

Thanks to your DH. And thank YOU for looking after him.

Thank you both so much. I will tell him.

Here's something for your DH:

WELCOME HOME. GLAD YOU ARE SAFE

Please take care of yourself and your lovely family

I think I remember you posting a whole ago about your DH not feeling able to seek help for his PTSD? I hope that situation may be getting better.

One of the self care steps I take when times are tough is to praise MYSELF for things rather than seeking external validation.

So for example, instead of telling a friend how hard things have been with my DS's mental health recently and expecting them to say "oh wow, you're so selfless" I reflect on the day and ask myself what I did really well at today, and what I want to improve tomorrow.

I can then tell myself "I handled that situation really well and I know next time it comes up, DS will find it reassuring that he knows I'm there to support him."

Dealing with PTSD is an absolute bitch and your H will look back at this time in the future and sat "thank God confused was there, I couldn't have got through it without her."

Thank you for supporting him. You're so lovely you also need thanking too. And support. I wonder what support you have for doing this amazing job. I also have it on good word that you're a fantastic cook and very funny too 💐

@NottheFordType Yes, he has discussed it with his therapist (he had been seeing one before but not discussed how low he was feeling) and sought help now.
Thanks for describing your selfcare.

*@headinhands*I do not have so much support and have not been practicing good self care... but I decided that this will change... starting right now.

Dh and me are talking about planning a medieval lunch... not yet but in a few month... just a few siblings and friends... it may sound silly but we need this kind of thing to look forward to now... and I know it is just a stupid lunch but it gives me much hope... because when dh will have medieval lunch in a few month and enjoying it that means he will be alive and well...

A medieval lunch is not silly whatsoever!

My son breeds (semi professionally) pet rats and one of our traditions is "A Very Ratty Xmas" - we plan our celebrations way ahead of time. He spends a lot of time thinking about how we can make our ratties' lives better AND get amazing photo opportunity!

If you're into old-school stuff then check out the Youtube channel for Townsends. He cooks everything with the equipment and condiments that the 18th century would have available. Even if you couldn't give a flying fuck about cooking, the videos are very relaxing.

A very ratty Christmas. Sounds cool! I used to have pet rats when I was younger. They are so lovely.

I will check out Townsend.

I do not have so much support and have not been practicing good self care... but I decided that this will change... starting right now.

Good! I sometimes have a mental health day. Little things, will take time to paint my nails, pluck, meditate, eat yummy things, crochet, lots of little bursts of pampering. I also make a concerted effort to talk to myself kindly, like a very caring friend. It helps enormously when I can tell I've been running on empty and have little left.