My Family Denying my Mental Health Problems

[UniqueSiren]

I have been depressed since early teens and should have help but my family chose to decide I was bad, naughty, a psycho [insert any other word except mentally ill]

I should have been medicated/referred/given a shit about but I never was - I was essentially ignored.

I am having therapy at the moment and this old resentment has reared it's head. My dad has denied it was an illness, my brother said I was a psycho (and still am) and my mum made it all about her.

They are a toxic family and I am learning that their emotional neglect has actually caused the problems I have now. I am so angry that they still feel this way though.

Why would they deny it? Why do they want to keep the narrative going that I was 'bad' and 'too much' ???

Anyone any advice? I really want to cut them off but I still love them (because we always do, however we are treated)

What a shit attitude they have OP. I guess bottom line is, they won't change how the feel about mental illness so you either accept you are right they are wrong and move forward or you do as above and cut them off. Unfortunately you can't make them see or believe something they don't want to.

Yep - those are the options. Sadly.

I would really like to know why though.Why don't they hear me? I'm not stupid so why don't they believe me??? It makes me so angry.

They choose to deny reality because that would mean owning up to their own abusive roles.

Alice Walker once said that the only healthy member of a family mired in abuse is the victim who has made the brave decision to speak up.

My anger makes me want to believe that but I genuinely don't think they know. They have their own narrative about me and they genuinely believe it - they have not idea what they've done.

The problem is now, they won't listen to me when I tell them it was illness (and still is) instead of me just being dramatic, a bitch, too much "you know what she's like"

Your family sounds just like mine OP. And I've had problems my whole life because of their abuse. Honestly? There is nothing you can say or do to make them see the truth - they will just keep on spinning their version of things, and messing with your head. And, certainly in my case, enjoying you twisting and turning, trying to justify yourself. They probably like making you upset and angry.

What I've done is totally disengage. I see them twice a year tops, and I can't tell you what a relief that is. For the first time in your life, OP, put yourself first. You deserve so much better than you have right now

Wow, thanks greenleaf Well done you x